What To Do ???

• I'm so disturbed by these thoughts. Every time it goes through my mind I'll end up having sleepless nights.
  
  
• I have probably seen a little too much of the dark side and I have lost the believe that such a thing or person still exist. Maybe it does, but certainly rare in the real world.
  
  
• If I'm in the opposite position I would have acted in the same manner as well. But I am where I am.
  
  
• I don't want to blame the whole world for this because it is just not right. But what could I do to make a significant difference? Is there any thing I could have done in the past to change the present? How can I change myself to make a difference?
  
  
• Life has been arranged in such a way and it will remain like this for the next few years at least. They say you have to appreciate what you have in order to be happy but how can I be happy when I'm now powerless to change the way things are?
  
  
• The situation is not getting any better at all. There will be no miracles and I need time to solve this problem. By the time its over, what's gone is gone.
  
  
• I don't want pay the price for somebody else's mistake. Why should I be punished for another person's sin? But guess what, I might just have to swallow that bitter pill and accept it.
  
  
• I have always believed if I really wanted something realistically possible, I will get it sooner or later. But to get everything the way I want it is a major doubt.
  
  

Feeling quite depressed. I hope I'm wrong about this. Hopefully things aren't as bad as they seem.

HOPEFULLY...

Eye Infection Season

Both of my eyes are infected. I can't go out without sunglasses or I'll scare people with my vampire-in-real-life face.

But from what I've heard, I'm not the only one. It must be one of those time, the season where many people are infected by this eye virus.

Having seen a doctor, not much advise was given on how to prevent or how to speed up the recovery. The only thing I'm told to do is to take my medication on time.

What I've learned from the net is that one should keep his/her hands clean all the time. Try not to rub your eyes. There are so much info on the net I don't even know which is relevant.

As for my infection, the symptom starts with you having a lot of... "waste" (don't know what should I call it) around the infected eye. Followed by some pain around the eye. By the time you wake up, you'll have even more eye "waste" around it and you'll have to wash it with clean water. Next, you'll suffer for a few days looking like a vampire. Except its for real, not like those you see during Halloween.

Its my 3rd day living with the red eyes now. Hopefully tomorrow I'll recover by half at least. It has not improved much in the last 2 days.

In a real mess

Appeal results is going to take another week or two. Although it can happen, but the chances are low.

If miracle do happen, I will go for the January intake surely. Very UNLIKELY. May intake is only 4 months later and maybe, with more students enrolling by then, I'll have a better chance to look for my future wife. *some say that is when you find one* Not ideal but hardly a worst case scenario.

Haven't got a job since July and if I were to help my family financially, I need to get a job before November. That could be a bit of a problem.Apart from the daily expenses, I also plan to invest on something I've always wanted.A DSLR ! It will help me cope with the so called boring-life at Kampar. But it seems I might just have to delay the purchase.

To makes things a little bit worse, my biological clock has been set to London's GMT. Its 5am now and I'm still very much awake.

I'm a jobless, 21 year old who failed to graduate yet again. In a real mess now.