Blog de Donovan Tan

New Year 2012

2012-01-03T11:03:00.002+08:00

Here comes the time where everybody looks back at the memories of 2011 and then look forward to 2012 with hope of a better year. And then they write a list of stuff they plan to do. (Many of which will be forgotten after 2weeks).

And that is what I'm going to do.

2011 was better than 2010 as I can remember it. However, there are changes that were planned since 2010 still couldn't be implemented. My studies for example haven't improved much. I guess I just can't do it by myself. Without help and encouragement it seems that I'm getting nowhere. There are other problems too in 2011. The main one is my poor discipline. Procrastinating way too much. And this, is the main cause of many failures.

Good times in 2011 ? well, yes there are. Shared good moments with family and friends but not so much as for achieving things.
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2012 will be the year I complete my second 'circle' in the lunar calender and my dad will complete his 5th. Which means I'll be 24 and he will be 60.

Unlike previous years where I wrote a list of resolutions this year I only want to correct one thing that has been the cause of many problems. Discipline. The number one thing to work on.

Hopes ? Not much. Hopefully me and my family will stay healthy =)

Choice, Is Always Yours

2011-12-14T00:45:00.001+08:00

Choice. Is something that cannot be taken away from you.

One can force you into making a tough decision but choice will always be in your hands.

For example if somebody points a gun at you demanding your wallet, you can choose to try to snatch the gun away, you can choose to fake faint, you can choose to cry, to do nothing or to give up your thing. Even at such situations, you still have a choice.

It is such a shame and it saddens me when I see some of my friends let others decide important life decisions. Some simply fall into the demands of the society which isn't always a good thing.

Peer pressure can easily affect certain people. But at the end of the day, we choose our friends don't we? I'm not asking people to be stubborn. I think listening to suggestions are important but make sure you are the one ultimately making the decision.

Some people like to tell you to do things. Some like to coach you how to do things. But don't forget at the end of the day, you are the one who are responsible for your actions, not them.

Judged And Sentenced

2011-09-27T01:50:00.006+08:00

I found a disc by accident which contained a photo album of my vacation back in 2007/08.

Looking through it reminded me of the friendship I used to share with these people. Most of them are still close with me despite having commitments in different places, but some have broken off the group.

What disappoints me the most is how these friendships had to end over petty reasons. I lost two people who I used to see as my best friends.

One felt mistreated by others and 'bans' them from being friends,for life. I was caught in a middle of a crossfire and both sides decided to point finger at me and made me guilty party. I had little defense as both rather listen to each other who back stabbed themselves. However, judgement was made by only one.
Judge says: having looked at the facts from my perspective, Donovan Tan is found to be . . . GUILTY ! And therefore sentenced to a lifetime ban from being friends.

The other has a growing ego and feels that she is far more superior and expects other friends to obey her. I disobeyed by

Not going to a club with her during my exam period.
Refusing to join her for a re-scheduled clubbing session.I pleaded my innocence : 'I don't want to see somebody who shows me a sour face for no apparent reason. I had no reason to spend money on her in a club. Lastly, to spend so much money on a long face and then go back early during the 'peak' hours of the party all because of her is ridiculous.'Judgement : Donovan Tan,is found to be . . . GUILTY !

And I lost two friends.

Joke

2011-09-15T12:46:00.003+08:00

This is copied from the internet. It is one of my favorite jokes I've ever read on the internet. Sharing is caring right? so here it is.

HUSBAND SHOPPING CENTRE
Recently a "Husband Shopping Centre" opened in Dallas, where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; If you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.

A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands... First floor The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids. "The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.

Second floor
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." Hmmm, said the ladies. But, I wonder what's further up?

Third floor
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." Wow! Said the women. Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up! And up they went.

Fourth floor
This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." Oh, mercy me. But just think! What must be awaiting us further on!
So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth floor
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please.

hehehehehe. true ? or not true? I say yes. it is true

Brain Invasion

2011-09-13T04:20:00.000+08:00

Have you ever sit in your room alone quietly as you try to focus on your work and suddenly as you try to maintain that concentration, random thoughts just keep invading into your mind ?

It doesn't necessarily happen during your work time. When you try to initiate sleep, it happens also.(It has been happening to me a lot lately during this agonizing, exam period.

It disturbs my focus and also sleep. Both of which are essential to have a good preparation for an examination.

So here is my question. What do you do to sleep well in desperate times ?

How Bad Is Malaysia ?

2011-09-07T05:49:00.003+08:00

The Shanghai tower is taller than our Petronas Twin Tower. The Japanese cars are much better built than ours. Singapore's development is at a rate much faster than ours. Thailand is a more attractive holiday destination than our country. And the list goes on... Do you have any more to add on to that? I think YES, for most people but here is the thing.

DO YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE COMPARING YOUR COUNTRY TO THE WHOLE WORLD ???

I mean, there are quite a lot of things that we can be proud of. Our twin tower is still the tallest twin tower in the world. Our football team is the current Suzuki Cup champion, our Datuk Lee has been world no:1 for a long time. Datuk Nicol David single-handedly dominated squash for so long ~~she made it look boring.~~ Datuk Tony Fernandes is an internationally famous entrepreneur. Our food tastes one of the world's best. etc... etc...
Even our women is on demand. Don't believe me?ask Hong Kong superstar Andy Lau.

It is true that our country is not perfect but then, which country is ? Be proud to be a Malaysian. Be patriotic. This is your country. Never 'spit' on your own flag. Please, don't pick up the habit of saying every bad here is simply because it is 'made in Malaysia'. Show some love for your country. BOLEH ??? =)

Funky English Names

2011-08-22T01:01:00.007+08:00

I used to think that people give themselves English names so that people can catch it easier. I put one for myself since most people can't hear my name right for the first 2 or 3 times I say it. Even the introduction phrase of Hi I'm DONOVAN got people saying WHAT? COME AGAIN? So Donovan didn't fully solve the problem lah I suppose.

Only some people who watch football can catch my name at the first attempt. In case you are wondering, NO. I didn't name myself Donovan because of this guy. Although I do like him as a footballer.

SO, HERE IS MY QUESTION: WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST/FUNKIEST/MOST NEVER-HEARD-BEFORE ENGLISH NAMES THAT YOU HEARD?

I realized I put a name not so common in our community but there are people who pushed it further than me. For example Chrono or Crono. *duno how to spell*even google don't know such names.

There are more that I've heard such as Dominance and Clifford but that Chrono name tops the list. Where did they get these names from I wonder. I put an English name at the front because my name Aik Bu was hard to catch. No sure why they name themselves like that. At least now I can feel better about my own name. hehehehe

Why Do You Go To A University?

2011-08-10T21:24:00.006+08:00

I was reading Kenny Sia's recent post titled 'Don't Go To University For The Sake Of It' and I fully agree with what he said. But I have a something to add on to it.

I used to think that my job here in UTAR is to study, get that piece of paper that says 'Bachelor in ... (hons)' and start working. However, after attending a talk recently I found something interest. The instructor told us : If you are here just because of that piece of paper, QUIT NOW !

I was a bit surprised until I was told the reason why. Many people including myself found it hard to adapt to university life mainly due to the demands that is put on us students (assignments, tests, etc). Many universities especially public ones are in rural areas, far away from town which makes life a bit harder, add that to other challenges and many people wind up doing not-so-good and constantly whining about how boring life is in universities.

What I really wanna say is this- GOING TO A UNI FOR THE SAKE OF GETTING THAT PAPER IS NOT A GOOD REASON FOR YOU TO GO TO UNI. How people should see it is like this : I'm here for the experience of being a uni student. Which means you are there for everything that comes with it. The lectures, the co curriculum, the presentations,the assignments,~~the girls~~, the freedom... the entire learning experience to help you with your future career. IT IS ALL ABOUT PREPARING FOR THE FUTURE.

Still not quite sure? Let me explain. When you are given an assignment there will be a dateline. Firstly, you have to learn to work in a group. Most of the universities have a flexible system which means you work with different people every semester. You learn how to work with various types of people and how to handle them. Secondly, the dateline. You will learn how to manage your time for assignments. While most of us still resort to last minute effort, at least when you go to work you will know that is a struggle. Thirdly, if you still don't know what happens when you don't submit your work in time, try it while at uni. Then you'll know.

So you see there is more to it than just classes, books and exam. Preparing for final exam is also a bit like preparing for some important project. I mean even relationships are part of it. You learn about your gf as time goes by and then you decide whether she is the one or not. right ?

I used to complain about how boring life is and all over here but now at least I know I have more reasons to be here. I hope this post will at least reducing people from whining about how bad life is at uni and try to make the most of it. =)

Back !

2011-07-22T21:58:00.003+08:00

Sorry for being away so long. Was too carried away by other things and to be honest, the last 2 months or so wasn't the happiest days of my life so there are quite a few things I need to work on.

Any way, I got a few new posts lined up so there will be more frequent updates from now. Liverpool Asia Tour, something about assignment groups, etc.

Got to study for my mid term now. BYE~

Help ?

2011-06-18T12:07:00.004+08:00

Dear friends, blog readers. I'm in a photography competition called 'Beauties On Wheelz'. My photo entry was chosen as the Top 20 and now I need your kind support to stand a chance to win it.

This is the photo.
You'll have to Like the Juru Auto City Page FIRST.
Here is the link on facebook. You'll have to Like the Juru Auto City Page FIRST.

I have got almost all of my friends to LIKE it but then it is not enough. I also need my friends to further support me by getting their friends click as well. And that can make a big difference.

For example if I can count on 50 friends to get 3 people to like, that would be another 150 votes for my photo which is a lot.

The prize for the 1st place photo is a hamper with the usual stuff in it and a video camera which is cool.

I sincerely thank you all for all the support you have given me for my photo. I just want to say I appreciate it. Currently I'm still second about 20 votes behind the first place photo, and I hope that with your help, that photo can stand out from the rest because I really do think that is a unique shot compared to the rest.

TO GO ON OR NOT ?

2011-06-03T14:07:00.003+08:00

Last semester before my exam I said to myself if I fail in the exam I will not continue any further. It is not worth all the money, the effort and also staying in a place I don't want to be at.

I passed the exam which means I can continue. However, now that I have spent a year in Kampar and I have another two years to go (minus 3 months for internship), I'm not sure if I want to continue.

I've seen friends of mine who tried and decided that it was too hard. To repeat a subject again costs around Rm750 which is a big sum. That is not what worries me the most. I believe that if those around me can do it, I can do it.

What really made me have doubts is the place. After one year and it didn't change a thing. Going back home every week is possible but it costs quite a sum. From a place with so much happening to a place where there is pretty much nothing.

Don't even bother about comparing other place like UUM or even some poor nations in Africa. It is not relevant. What is relevant is where one person is from, and where he is now.

If I were to quit UTAR I will still continue pursuing a degree. Only somewhere else. This is not something I take lightly. If I want out, I better get out from there sooner than later.

End Of Year 1 In UTAR, Kampar

2011-05-23T14:56:00.001+08:00

About a year ago I enrolled into UTAR Kampar for my degree course. I was quite happy that after the struggles I had while doing my diploma, finally I'm here. Some of my friends who are already there were telling me the university admin has some issues and Kampar is not a place Penangites would like but none of them actually did any thing to stop me from coming. One year after that, I wish they did. I never knew leaving Penang was going to be so difficult especially to a place like Kampar.

During the first semester I was struggling to get used to the place and also the higher demands needed to excel in UTAR. I took things way too easily and ended up paying the price for it.

The same amount of effort will only result in poor results. I had to do more.

2nd semester, I looked at reasons why I failed try made some changes which were not enough. Only 2 subjects taken for the short semester and I failed one of them which resulted in termination of my student status. I had plenty to think about how to do better.While there is a very good chance for the appeal to be successful, I was having the darkest hour of my life. I didn't have a timetable, I couldn't register for a parking sticker and worse of all during the appeal, looking at everybody at the queue thinking how lousy of a student people are. And then I realized I'm one of them.

It was like going to jail, looking at all the criminal faces, thinking of what terrible things they have done only to find out you are one of them now. I had to wait until week4 to start attending classes again and that gave me some problem. I had to join assignment groups that are already formed and met the worst assignment group members in my life.By the time I'm done with assignments I'm already feeling very frustrated by how hard things can be here. I took short vacations with my friends and often went back home during weekends. I skipped lots of classes like I never did before. The only positive note from the 3rd semester was my acting during a drama which gained a round of applause. =) Still, I felt like doing any thing but study for the final exam.

It was until the final weeks when I managed to find the strength to do what I have to do for my exam. I'm quite convinced that I have put in a reasonable amount of effort to score at least get a pass. If it is not, then I will quit UTAR and study somewhere else.

1 Year Since I Bought My First DSLR

2011-05-02T00:34:00.002+08:00

Exactly one year ago during Labour Day, with my mother's support I bought my first ever Digital SLR. My photography journey started on the 1st of May 2010. Today marks the end of the first year and the beginning of the second.

So much have happened throughout the year, there were good and bad moments with my camera. And I have also changed quite a bit during the course of the year.

The clicks were reducing, most emphasis is paid to quality rather than quantity. More thought is put into when taking a photo. Comparing the photos of the first months and the ones I took recently I think I have improved to another level but with plenty still to learn.

There were good moments when people liked my photos on facebook. Some even made it their profile picture. I also managed to capture some happy moments during a wedding event. It is also very satisfying for me when the photos I took put smiles on people's face. At the same time I makes me very happy as well.

However, its not all smooth road during this journey. There are times when I just ran out of ideas of how to take a good shot during crucial moments. Sometimes when the golden opportunity came and I got the settings wrong. Some slight reliability issue also caused some nervous moments. I even deleted about 70% of the photos I took during a macro shoot. Very frustrating indeed but it was a good lesson. It also hurts when some people just go 'DELETE ! DELETE ! DELETE !' even when I thought the shots were good.

Overall it has been quite an interesting experience. And I look forward to do more research on this subject and also meet more people of the same hobby. Also I'm looking to buy my 2nd lens which is quite a difficult choice due to financial reasons. Do I buy a cheaper lens to hold on or do I wait and save so that I don't have to sell the cheaper lens in a cut-price deal?

I hope to have more honest comments on my photos,more 'likes' and less 'DELETE !' and 'I look fat !'

hehehe ! Happy Anniversary my Sony Alpha A550+18-250 lens. MAKE.BELIEVE

The 4 Types Of Camera Men

2011-04-23T03:01:00.004+08:00

***This is strictly written based on personal opinion and is not aimed at any body in particular***

There are many people who owns a DSLR today. While some are photographers, some are people with an expensive camera.

In this post I'm going to group all the DSLR-owners I've came across and put them into categories based on their camera knowledge, usage, and equipment.

THE NECKLACEThey have just about no clue about photography. They have the perception that by using a DSLR they will be able to produce good photos. Camera usage is mainly for show and photography purposes are minimal. In the Uni campus, at mamak stalls, in the library and even in the bus ! They have their cameras hanging on their neck all the time. Typically, their equipment is a beginner-level camera with a kit lens. What is best for them is not a entry-level DSLR. What is best is a "semi-SLR". Smaller cameras with higher-than-compact-camera imagine quality like the Sony NEX, Olympus PEN or Canon G-series.

THE OCCASIONALThey have some basic knowledge but they normally do not pay attention to the tiny details such as the settings like exposure mode. They don't hang their big cameras on their necks and walk around with it. In fact they hardly use it except for special occasions. Like a party, or a holiday. Most of them have at least an external flash along with their kit lens and an 'original' bag which comes together with the camera.

THE ENTHUSIASTThese people have at least some of advance technique and they are always willing to attend workshops to learn more. Constantly looking for events or photography outings to sharpen their skills. Some have big sling bags, some have back packs full of camera tools. How much or how good are their equipment depends on how passionate they are for photography and also how much their pocket allow them to spend on their hobby. Some of them are part-time photographers and some might turn pro.

THE PROSPeople who are so good at it they can rely on their photography skills and use it as a full time job. Cameras to them are like computers for IT people. Like football to footballers. They possess the most and the best equipments from the most expensive lenses to the most complex lighting tools. Some own a studio. RESPECT !

Pre-Exam TALK

2011-04-16T15:28:00.003+08:00

Still no progress after weeks of talking. 11 days left to the final with little preparations done. At the rate things are going I will fail again and if I do, I will withdraw. I'm still in the same situation where I rather be doing any thing other than study. Somebody help me !

But there is still time to study as I took only a few subjects this term. But the problem is I cannot find the willingness or the motivation to get started. I'm happy when I get things done properly and for the past few months I clearly haven't done so.

Is it a punishment that I need or is it a reward ? Maybe what I need is just a little guidance on how to start and then I can carry on from there.

Whatever it is, I should be finding the solution get back to work now. To all fellow UTARians, best of luck for your exams.

2011-04-14T01:24:00.001+08:00

Pulau Ketam

2011-03-28T01:30:00.005+08:00

From the train station in Port Klang, take a boat ride for about 40 minutes and you'll reach this place. Its callled 'Crab Island' directly translated but there weren't a lot of crabs.

It took me less than 2 hours to explore the whole island and when asked if I will go visit the place again? NO. Confirm ! Don't get me wrong. It is a unique place. You rarely see a place soooo 'kampung' and a temple with a crab on it. The whole island, doesn't have a fueling station so there is no car, or bikes. In fact any vehicle with engines are not allowed beyond the jetty. Which means the only transport with an engine tat is allowed is a boat !

The only transport you have there, is bicycles ! Even the cops there ride bicycle. It is one of the few places in Malaysia where you get to see a place like this. But unfortunately, that is just about all you can explore.

The food was normal and have a normal price. The temples are small and not very attractive. The most advanced machine on the island is the Maybank ATM. It was a special experience but once is enough.

Next holiday destination in mind : Langkawi (again).
I just went there during christmas last year. It was good but the time was just too short to really explore everything there and I came back more tired. This time, I'm gonna take my sweet time, explore as many places as possible, then I'll come back SATISFIED ! =)

Away From Penang

2011-03-11T01:47:00.004+08:00

I'm feeling a bit homesick. Studying and living away from Penang in Kampar was never going to make me happy. Because I left arguably the best place to live in Malaysia. It is also Yahoo!'s top 10 islands to explore ! (mainly because of the variety of things you can find from Penang.)The Pearl of the Orient has everything ! In contrast, Kampar has a few nice food to choose from, some snooker center for you to crumple your forehead skin, plenty of mamak stalls for you to hang out, a huge sports complex,a pretty scenery at Westlake which is a static beauty, possibly the best cyber cafes in Malaysia and that is about it.

Penang, on the other hand, has everything you could possibly want. There are beaches if you like the sound of waves, the sea breeze, and faces of people having fun along the coast line. A jungle, or a hill if you like mother nature. If you happen to be a photography enthusiast like me, there are plenty of places where you can capture those beautiful sceneries from the hill top, the beach, the town and many other places ! If you are a very urbanized person like some of those from KL, there is George Town, a very busy town yet the jams are not quite as bad as the nation's capital. There are also so many shopping malls nowadays the numbers are quite ridiculous. Besides that, there are also clubs at UPR, where you can go in, get drunk and hope you'll get lucky.

But the best of all, is the food. Penang-the Malaysian Capital of Food. Here's a video that explains. Whether you are at the mainland or island, good food is everywhere.So having lived my life in Penang both on the mainland and on the island, it is very difficult to adapt to a place not even half as fun as my home state. Yes, there is Ipoh, which has the food, and some interesting places but never quite as fun as Penang. Go south and you'll find KL, a place where you spend a quarter of your life in traffic jams and working overtime everyday because you are forced to spend more.

Penang then, is my ideal choice of place to live. And once I'm done with my studies in Kampar I'll go back there for good. There one and only possibly there could drag me out of that place, is a job. We'll see how it goes by then.

Inspired by this article

Lost Motivation

2011-02-28T02:04:00.002+08:00

Already the situation is bad enough but I don't quite have the heart to work harder yet. It will be mid-semester by tomorrow and I have to say, other than the English subject, I'm quite behind schedule for the rest.

Start attending classes at week 4 due to some complication made things from bad to worse. Getting into assignment groups is a pain in the butt. Some members are missing thanks to the flexible intake which let student change classes.

While the assignments group are giving me enough sleepless nights, the distance to class from the gate makes it quite discouraging to attend classes. Under the extremely hot weather, I go to classes looking like I did a marathon there. It is not just normal warm, it is so hot you actually feel the pain. Can't do much about this.

I still go workout often, I look for photo opportunities, I joined the photography society, I hang out with friends, I go watch football at mamak stalls... I just feel like I rather be doing any thing else than work on my studies, somehow.

This is bad...

Something Went Wrong During CNY 2011.

2011-02-05T02:05:00.005+08:00

Celebrations are not over yet as it is now 2am of the 3rd day of CNY. But something is bothering me.

You see, I was looking through all the photos taken during the past few days and I noticed there are lots of happy faces, some nice fireworks, some cute toddler shots and so on.

Most of the photos taken were portraits of my cousins and relatives. But one face was missing... and a rather important one.

This person has spend the past month preparing, trying to get the place as comfortable as it could be for all her kids and grandchildren.

My grandmother, I found out, was never really taking part in the new year celebration. While everybody else was busying enjoying the food, having some fun gambling and catching up with long-time-no-see relatives, she was in the house but hardly noticeable. She spend most of the time in the kitchen making sure all the food was sufficient and properly cooked.

I saw her walking around, seeing everybody having a good time. Some with cards on their hands, some in front of their lap top. Everybody had their moments except for her.

She is the main reason why all her kids are still visiting the 'abandoned' house. With all her children around, all her grandchildren will meet as well.

Yes, she gave ang pows to all but that is just a traditional thing to do. As her grandchildren, I feel very bad to sort of leave her out of all the fun. I should have at least shown her some appreciation for all the work she has done rather than just a 'gong xi fa cai, thank you' for her ang pow.

I hope I can do something to compensate for that. So I better start thinking how to do that.

How Do You Live Your Life ?

2011-01-13T15:40:00.003+08:00

I was reading a note written by my friend on facebook. He was trying to put out a message which I've summarized.

-Life is short-life everyday like its your last.
From young we are taught to work hard for our future. Ever crossed your mind WHAT IF something happens to you in between? an accident happens before you reach your goal and all your effort comes down to nothing ???

How ready are you to face the end of your life ?
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While some are nodding their heads, I thought about it. He did make a point but still, I have to disagree.

Firstly with 'I would live my life everyday as if it is my last'

Can you actually do that ? If you can, how? Spend all your money? Eat all the food you can? Drink and smoke until you pass out?

You can do all those but what if there is a tomorrow for you? You will lose your wealth and health. And that, is a disaster one person can bring upon himself.

Second, the more important point

WHERE THE WHOLE IDEA OF THAT NOTE WENT WRONG.

The note is written based on uncontrollable events. Things like the weather, the earth rotation, the inevitable death of a human being.

Which is the same as complaining about sunburn while you can apply sunblock. Whining about the rain while you can prepare an umbrella. As for death, you'll never know when. So how can any one prepare for it?

Instead...FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN DO

Road accident can happen any time, so do your part. Drive safely, fix an air-bag and all the car strengthening bars. That would give you a better chance of living in case of accidents. If the worst still happen then it is purely misfortune since you did your part.

Illness/disease are not limited only to the elderly. Any body can contract diseases we can still do our part by living a healthy lifestyle and decrease the chances of getting sick.

It is really unfortunate for those who lived a healthy lifestyle and still contracted diseases. However,that is NOT an excuse for you to eat whatever you want and say whatever will be will be. That is a reason why you should do your part and live life sensibly. Do your part, and you'll have no regrets.

There is no stopping a person from enjoying his/her life.
We all want to enjoy every single day we have. Just don't do any thing that will ruin tomorrow. Living to the fullest is getting the most out of your day without jeopardizing tomorrow. Live everyday like your last is self-destruct.

Highlights Of 2010 - Resolutions Of 2011

2011-01-01T05:03:00.005+08:00

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011 !

Highlights of 2010
1. Bought my first DSLR and started this photography journey which has been wonderful so far.

2. Lost a good friend. It is a pity but I think we might not be talking to each other again.

3. Graduated from TAR College. It was a great moment for me and my family. I hope I did my parents proud.

4. Struggled since day 1 in UTAR. Degree was difficult. But I believe there is always a way out of it as long as I believe there is.

5. Moved to Kampar. In other words, I moved from the places I love most to the place where everybody is complaining about. Sounds ridiculous but I did it.

6. Enjoyed a holiday at a place I've wanted to go for a long time. Langkawi. although it was too short and rather tiring but still I enjoyed it.

7. Had the most expensive meal of my life. At Jogoya, having paid 101 bucks for the food I almost paid my health to try to eat as much as I could.

8. A close friend of mine has turned into a 'self-destruct' mode. I can't see this person stop doing it in the near future.

9. Michael Schumacher is back in F1. And It got me even more enthusiastic about this motor racing sport.

10. Completed my first ever marathon under the rain ! Not much problem during the run but I never felt more tired after it.

Ups and downs as usual in life.
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Last Year I set 5 resolutions for myself. I tried to keep it as realistic as possible. No point having too many.

So how did I do?
1.Graduate - YES
2.Buy a DSLR - YES. Mainly thanks to my mother for lending me the funds.
3.Burn off belly fat - Fail.
4.Go holiday at Langkawi and Genting - Went to Langkawi only. Enjoyed it.
5.Create a reading habit - I creating a facebook reading habit instead.

(2.5)/5. Average.

2011 Resolutions
1.Study better. Seriously, I'm struggling in UTAR.
2.Win a trophy in football/futsal. its been a while since I last won something.
3.Get fit. same resolution for the past 2 years but I have a strong feeling its happening.
4.Go holiday with my family. I can't remember when was the last time.
5.Learn Chinese. I can speak,read and write since primary and I even took Bahasa Cina for my SPM but now its getting rusty.

Goal-gasm

2010-12-30T21:42:00.003+08:00

Scoring a goal is probably the best thing you can do in football. After all, the goal of the play is to score goals ! I sometimes deliberately do an exaggerated goal celebration for the sake of fooling around with my friends.But yesterday was different. For once I really felt very, very happy and started to run and shout after scoring one.It was quite a special goal too. I used my left (weaker) foot to shoot but it was perfectly accurate. Shot with the inner foot but was still powerful enough and best of all it was almost from the corner !I was feeling as happy as I could although not in tears yet. But playing football is one of the things where I could forget about everything on earth except the game. Good way to release all the stress and tension.Any way, just glad I had one great moment before 2010 ends. Will try to write a post on 2010 and also upload my favorite photos of 2010. =)

Merry Christmas !

2010-12-24T20:27:00.002+08:00

First of all let me wish all my Christian friends a Merry Christmas. And to everybody else, happy holiday ! hehe.

I'm heading to Langkawi tomorrow. Hoping to see some beautiful scenery, snap some nice photos, ~~get really drunk~~ enjoy tax-free alcohol and have a good time with friends.

I hope you'll be having a good time as well. Take some time out, go have fun with friends and family.

=)
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As for my second semester at UTAR, it ended disappointingly again. Hopes and expectations were high as there is only 2 subjects and I have a history to doing better at short semesters.

I did quite well for my first paper but a heavy reliance on tips meant that I lost a lot of marks for my second paper and now I really can't be sure whether I can pass the second paper or not.

Holiday Plan

2010-12-08T17:04:00.011+08:00

I have quite a few plans figured out even before I actually started preparing for my finals. Hopefully I can get a better result this time round.

Any way, the plans

Langkawi-Somewhere I wanted to go for quite some time. Tax free alcohol, chocolates and tobacco(not bothered).A place where Carlsberg costs less than Coke. I'm hoping to find a bar where I can try out James Bond's favorite cocktail-Vodka Martini. Also, Vodka Red Bull, not sure if I can have both continuously but I shall see how.
Its been years since I last went for a vacation with my oldest set of friends, glad to finally have them all to join this time. Hopefully I don't get too drunk and do something stupid.

Photoshoot-*that is NOT ChocoBear btw*just one of my favorite outdoor shots.

ChocoBear has been really keen on doing this. She went on the internet to search for examples in photos and videos to tell me how she wants to look in the photos. I'm looking forward to it also, hopefully I can get some nice shots out of it. There are other appointments for portrait shooting too which is currently pending. Apart from that I'll also be attending a portrait workshop with Sony Alpha Penang in January. It is quite simply a class where they teach you how to take better portraits.

Futsal- Last semester I twisted my ankle only after 1 or 2 games. Disappointed to miss out the games I came back without a full recovery and made it worst. Still, its been about 3 months now and I consulted a specialist on my ankle. Doctor said ankle instability is minimal therefore, I'm good to play !

And the best part is that is not all ! with CNY looming near there will be some shopping as well. Hopefully everything will go according to plan for my exam and then I can enjoy the sem break to the max !

Weirdo Outside The Library

2010-12-03T01:14:00.004+08:00

Was taking photos of UTAR's beautiful library yesterday evening and this guy walks out of the library, approached me and started to ask me some questions.

Guy: Excuse me, are you from the photography club?
me : No, I'm not.
Guy: what's with the camera?
me : Its MINE ! *thinking he is some kind of undercover, double 'O' standard security guard.
Guy: Okay. What is your purpose of taking the photo?
me : self interest.
Guy: ...... Is there a photography competition?
me : I don't know. (wishing that there is one, is asked him back) IS THERE ANY?
Guy: No. *silent for 5 seconds and stares at me*
me : why?
Guy: I joined the photography club and I haven't had a word from them.
me : oh okay.
Guy: *starts to feel annoyed for some reason* that is why I asked you !
me : oh. hey, its cool ! Its alright man.
Guy: *shows a TULAN face*, walks away and starts whispering by himself.
me : *you better not be talking crap about me you Chinese-killing Jap communist looking bloke*
Yeah, it happened exactly like that. It would have been just another conversation if it wasn't for his unusual perceptions about people with DSLRs.

He probably thinks ONLY photography club members gets to hold those cameras.
Or maybe the cameras are rented from the University. hmm...

Weirdo.

what would you do if you were approached by somebody like this? tell me.

Jogoya. The Most Expensive Meal Of My Life

2010-11-19T03:31:00.001+08:00

By most expensive I mean RM101. RM88 bucks plus tax. That is how expensive that meal was. It costs about twice as a meal at TAO, so it better be twice as good. And you know what, its NOT.

It has a mix of Chinese, Japanese, Italian, and many other variety local or foreign. So option is what you have but in my opinion, too many. There is just too much to try and while most of them are good, its not all.

Even the drinks are available in many types. Chinese tea, wine, mix liquor, coffee, etc. You can't actually drink and enjoy all of those can you? I tasted all of it for the sake of trying it.But despite all that, the great thing about Jogoya I would say is that it has many expensive brands all under one roof and with one price. Haagendazs ice cream for example. In stead of paying 20 bucks scoop by scoop you can have as much as you like all for RM101.

Good idea but it doesn't appeal to everybody.

As for the service, I think it is pretty good. a 7.5/10 rating I say.

To sum it up, I say it felt a bit like committing suicide. You tear your pocket to get into that place and then you tear your stomach by eating all you can.

No doubt I enjoyed myself there with the company of my buddies but in the end of the day, I think I rather go to TAO.

Dreams Come True . . .

2010-11-08T02:58:00.002+08:00

I enjoyed my birthday last month. Lots of my friends' birthday was also in October or maybe it was me who is paying extra attention to those celebrating in the same month as me.

Many people wished me through calls,sms and mainly facebook. And I did the same when others are celebrating theirs. Ok, fine. Fair enough.

So here's the thing about birthday wishes. Is it right to say 'may your dreams come true?' even if there is nothing wrong, is it proper?

I mean, let's be honest, we all want about good dreams or ambitions to come true but dreams, aren't always good,are they? When a good dream comes true like you being a champion or married your dream husband then yes, DREAM COME TRUE.

But what if nightmares happen? Like you score an own goal or fail in an exam for example? In a way it is still DREAM COME TRUE right? A bad one.

Would it be best if everybody just say 'May Your Wishes Come True' instead? Nobody would wish for bad things to happen on them right?

'Happy Birthday, May your dreams come true', is it not quite suitable? or it is perfectly fine?

Mean Machines 2010

2010-10-28T00:35:00.013+08:00

The largest performance motorsports exhibition in Malaysia. Which means it doesn't get any bigger than that in Malaysia. I had to be there and I did. Its been great fun photographing the event. I just wished I could have spent more time there.

From the cars to the models, from showgirls to the Miss Mean Machines contestants, I uploaded almost 200 photos in my facebook page.

Its quite tiring because of the weight of my equipment and mainly having to squeeze among the photographers under the hot sun. But still I was great fun to me.

It gives me great pleasure with people clicking 'like' on my photos. Some of the contestants used my photos to post up in their own page. There is one who set it as her profile picture.

The response has been very encouraging. Although I am limited to a single lens for now but still I think there is room for improvement. =)

So here are some of my favorite shots.
cars with doors that open upwards.big bikes. the newly launched Lotus Evora !One of the prettiest showgirl/model at the event. The most LIKED photo in my album. 12 as of now. A record. Cecilia. One of my favorite contestants.This one LOOKS the youngest.Peggy. Also one of my favorite.That is the winner and 2 runners up. Congratulations !

22nd Birthday, Exam Result

2010-10-15T14:31:00.010+08:00

Didn't throw a party because I didn't really achieve much of the things I was aiming for for. But still this year it is a bit special. The long list of people who wished me on facebook, I would like to say thank you to all of you again. I actually replied all of it.This year it is also kind of a 2 day celebration. Similar to last year. I went for a movie at noon, then dinner with friends the day before.

And then on the day itself I bought something I've been wanting for a long time. Went for lunch with my parents. They also bought me a nice birthday cake. I thanked my parents for looking after me all these years and also a special thank you to my mother who gone through that painful experience of giving birth to me 22years ago.After we're done with the cake, I went for dinner and a drink with a few of my friends. I didn't really plan a thing this year so I'm expecting much. But still it has been a special one. Now that I'm officially 22, I think its time for me to work hard for the future. There are always room for improvement and I want to be better in everything I do.

A better student, a better photographer, a better son, better person, etcAgain, I would like to thank everybody who wished me birthday.
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First semester result is poor. So bad it is actually the worst result I've ever got. Seriously. I kind of messed it up at TARC, but now its worse.

I'm not going to whine about UTAR or do something stupid for this. Its just a mistake, a lesson I should learn from.

There are lots of things about myself I have to change. And unless I change for the better, things aren't going to improve at all. So, gotta CHANGE.My habits, my methods, my work rate, etc

I Got A Problem Without Its Solution

2010-10-04T02:42:00.006+08:00

The current relationship between me and my dad isn't good at all.
This blog is sometimes a place for me to let it out when I'm not happy with certain things and as for this issue, its not the first time.

I remember last time it was fine. But now that I've grown up and he is getting a bit older, things have changed. In a bad way.

We can have arguments every single day. There are lots and lots of things we disagree mainly how each other thinks. I don't know where it all started to go wrong. As far as I want to listen to my own biological father who brought me up, he lost the credibility in me.

I heard about a few complains about me raising my voice over petty issues and being rebellious. Yes, he is my dad and he forever will but these wrong actions reflect just how frustrated I am at times.

I'm not just frustrated about what happens outside but also towards him. Talking to him is like talking to a deaf man. And when I point out where he is doing things wrongly he does the same thing back to me. He will mention about me failing exam and stuff.

And to make matters worse, when he started finding fault first, I'll do the same back to him. Things can get ugly. One father and son conversation could turn into some kind of EPL derby. We take turns to point finger at each other so often it almost defined the word 'counter-attack'.

Some have told to be have patience when dealing with an elder person but I really don't know how to do so.

I hate to make my parents upset. I really don't like any bit of it. What goes around comes around. I thought about it and I don't want my children to be doing this to me next time.

Seriously, I don't see an end to this issue as for now. Because I really don't know how to solve this. I am trying to control my emotions and I think I managed to do that but its not enough. I even had thoughts about moving out.

HELP?

I'm Gonna Miss You

2010-10-01T20:31:00.003+08:00

It is a sad thing that you have to leave. But then I guess you'll be happier over there.

Its difficult for me to not to fall in with you. No matter how hard my day is I just have to look at you and I will feel happy. You never failed to make me smile, make me laugh.

You have some kind of miracle that cheers me up every time when I'm down, and accompany me every time when I'm alone.

I really wish you could stay but you had to leave. I hope you will enjoy your life there.

I had some good times with you and I wish I could tell you how much I appreciated it.

I will be missing you my little friend...

Take care, Flintstone.

What on earth were you thinking huh,blog reader ???

He is just so lovable and adorable. Initially when I saw him he was full of hair.Then the hair grew so long he looked, COOL ! A bit like Sean Connery in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

And then after his haircut he looked really silly and FUNNY ! I mean...And that look on his face, cheers me up all the time.

Despite looking silly, he actually knows how to DEMAND for a massage. Like this !By showing off his MANHOOD.

And sometimes you can't help thinking, he is just like a baby ! Look at that ! like a baby in mother's womb.

He is also quite human as well. He snores a lot at night and he rolls his eyes and move his legs when he is dreaming. Cute little dog.

Maybe one day I'll have a dog of my own. But not now obviously.

Frustrating First Semester At UTAR

2010-09-26T22:34:00.004+08:00

Was having doubts about coming to university due to a few reasons. I wasn't sure if my family are capable and more importantly, I wasn't sure I wanted to pursue a degree.

Finally I made the decision to further my studies at UTAR Kampar and for once, do well in my studies.

14 study weeks have passed and I'm left with more questions than answers. How do I study this subject ? Why I just won't understand this ? How did they do so well ? Where have all my time gone ? Why am I not happy here ? and it goes on. . .

To sum it up I would say - Environment changed. I did not.

I mean...
>>The marking scheme - 40%coursework + 60%final exam instead of the old 20-80. Got to emphasize more on assignments and mid-term tests or else you have a hell lot to do.

>>The difficulty - Diploma to Degree. Of course it is more difficult. So the same amount of effort, same methods aren't going to work. Need to find the right method for the right subject. I didn't and got quite frustrated at times.

>>The notes - unlike in diploma where the printed books are very much complete text books, here its just a summary of the book in Power Point slides and in certain subjects, aren't enough.

>>The campus - Its HUGE. And that is not good at all. I didn't get a parking sticker which means I have to walk about 10 mins from the gate. And parking is a bit of a trouble even for bikes.

>>The weather - Its very warm. That makes the walking inside the campus quite unpleasant.Attending classes then is a bit discouraging. Hopefully I'll be get a parking sticker next semester.

>>~~The girls - OH MAN ! it is impossible to concentrate in lecture i tell you...~~

>>The flexi intake - In certain classes you barely have time to start a conversation with the person next to you. Unless its a subject that requires a group assignment, you can't really meet much people.

Still I don't blame these external factors for the terrible result that awaits. I just want to say sorry to those who have supported and put in hope for me to do well.

And I also promise you all and to myself that I will not let this happen again. I will do better.

I guess holiday plans have to called off. Lost the mood for it.

Grown Up Boys

2010-09-16T03:16:00.008+08:00

Recently I had a conversation with my buddy about some of our friends. Talking about now that everybody has grown up and how things have changed ever since. Suddenly he mentioned something that came to me as a surprise.

One of my friend was told to get married after graduation. Sounds funny at first but it got me thinking.

I'm 22 this year, will graduate at 24. Some say, it is best for guys to have kids around his late 20s or early 30s for 2 reasons.

1. To have some time to build up his career and financial stability.(Some people has got cameras to invest in)
2. For the good of the next generation. Better let them find the ovum while they are still strong.

This theory makes sense only to certain people but if its true, me and my friends (of the same age) don't have a lot of time left. Assuming we graduate and start working at 24, there is only another 4 to 5 years left to build up a career and save enough money.And that I'm afraid, isn't lot of time.

As for me its not necessary to get married at that age so I can just ignore all that. But looking at the age gap of me and my dad, its 3 rounds at the lunar calender = 36 years. And for some reason, I don't like the gap at all. Its not just career obstacles that will make things harder. Finding a compatible mate might also take some time.

Time doesn't pause to wait for any one. You will be getting older day after day.

It always good to have some long-term plans. Gives you as sense of direction instead of just being a boat roaming round the ocean.

As for now, I got to make sure I don't delay my graduation. Think I just screwed up one of my papers but I can make up for it.

STUDY >>> EXAM >>> HOLIDAY

2010-09-03T02:53:00.009+08:00

13/9 Management Principle 9am
14/9 Advertising and Promotion 9am
15/9 Quantitative Technique II 2pm
18/9 Corporate and Business Law 2pm
24/9 Business Finance 9am

That is my exam timetable for this semester. Its very good. Except the 3-paper-in-3-days arrangement.

Subjects that concerns me the most (due to my terrible coursework marks) are QT,CBL and BF.

9days left to the exam. Hopefully I can make good use of this time, do well in exam. Walk out of the hall knowing I passed and enjoy my semester break. (which I haven't plan).

For the 3 weeks break, I do have a few holiday ideas to consider.

1. Langkawi. The island with the biggest eagle in the world is tax-free and therefore, heaven for smokers and drinkers which I'm not. But still, since its tax-free and mineral water costing more than beer,I might as well try out some expensive liquors that cost ridiculously elsewhere.2. Batu Ferringghi. Rent a chalet right next to the beach and do whatever I want there. I can jog,swim, or just lie on the beach doing nothing. Plus, having seen the smiles on the people who played the water sport there, I think I want to give it a try !3. Genting. Somewhere I haven't been for years. I saw some photos of my friends going there and I think it would be a great place for photography. I also want to step foot in the world famous casinos. And I really missed those thrilling roller coaster rides. Especially SpaceShots that lifts your butt off the seat when it does a vertical dive.4.Your suggestion. The numbers have no ranking arrangements. I haven't decided yet and if you do have an interesting suggestion, it might just be my number1 choice of holiday. :-)

But before all that, I got to make sure I pass all my subjects 1st. As for now, GOOD NIGHT !!!

KL PC Fair (August 2010)

2010-08-20T00:50:00.006+08:00

A lot of people asked me if they are actually selling computers or something else. They do sell computers and lots of other related things. Accessories, games, anti-virus, etc. They just do things a little different from other PC Fairs that we know. And the one in KL certainly attracts quite a lot of attention.
I'm going to be very honest here. My intention was to experience how is it like to be photographing at KL's PC Fair. Seriously, it is a good place to learn how to get your portrait shots right and those models there, they know how to make it easy for you.
And its not just me who is there for photography, there are hundreds of them. Some with really expensive equipment that I can only dream of. Any way, having gone through my 1st ever PC Fair photo shoot which I'm quite pleased with the result, I am already looking forward for the next one in about 4 months time.To me, it is literally a R&D. I looked back at those photos and found room to improve those shots. Its just part of a life-long learning.These are some of my favorite shots. The response that I've got from facebook and my friends have been quite encouraging. So I'll continue to work on it.

Why I chose Sony's A550 - Review

2010-08-11T12:44:00.001+08:00

Many people have asked me why did I choose a Sony Alpha over the more popular (in Malaysia) Canon EOS or a Nikon. Working at a camera shop, I had the chance to try out all the cameras within my budget. So I know very clearly which camera suits me best. Without much hesitation, I choose the Sony Alpha 550 !

Here's why.

Its been 3 months (as of 1st August 2010) since I bought my DSLR and I'm extremely please with it.

I've tested it with several other of its competitors like Canon's 500D and 550D, and also Nikon's D5000 and D90 and now I'm pretty sure I made the right choice.

Why? I'll start from the outside of the camera. The handling is pretty good, fit my hand perfectly. The excellent buttons lay out which places the most commonly used buttons at the disposal of your right hand.

But what matters most of course is the inside.

14 Megapixels. GOOD
Excellent battery life. GOOD
In-body auto focus motor. Beats Nikon's D5000
Live view mode. Not only it gives you a quick auto-focus and face detection, changes in settings such as White Balance can be seen as you change them. BEATS THE REST
LCD screen that you can tilt for low or high angle shots.
BEATS THE REST
ISO up to 12800, higher than the rest.
ISO performace, better than all recently Sony Alpha(s) (though I have to admit D90 does better)
Quick continuous shooting of up to 7fps. BEATS THE REST
SteadyShot. The in-body image stabilizer works just like all of its competitor's IS/VR but better in a few ways.
1. its in the camera so you'll get the benefit in every single lens you use.
2. This indicator at the right bottom corner of the LCD screen/View finder.It tells you how much your hands are shaking and lets you stabilize before shooting. And that, I tell you, is very useful. ONLY SONY ALPHAS CAN DO THIS
HDR. Quite simply, BRILLIANT !!!

*click to enlarge*With the HDR you can come up with photos like this. THE REST OF ITS COMPETITORS OF TODAY, CAN NEVER DO THIS

Well, as far as I like this camera and I want to say its perfect, unfortunately, ITS NOT. NO product is perfect any way.

The price is a bit more expensive than the rest.D90 has a 18-105 kit lens and if you want to trade in your 18-55mm kit lens for something similar to that of Nikon, it will cost more.
~~No video function~~ *NOT BOTHERED*
metering is only reliable like 90% of the time if you don't give the camera time.
Lacks ISO customization. You can only go from Auto,200,400,800,1600,3200,6400 or 12800. Only the Auto setting can get you in between those numbers but then, ITS OUT OF YOUR CONTROL. (This being the only fault that bothers me)

Last Words

2010-08-02T00:38:00.011+08:00

Its been difficult to move on...
Knowing you since secondary school until now. The times we spent together as friends makes it impossible for me to ignore your presence.

Accepting the fact that I lost a close friend is hard but then you were more than just a friend.

Understanding my own feelings is something I've always very slow at. Something happened inside me. I only knew about this when I started to feel the jealousy after your overseas trip.

Thought about it long and hard, I finally decided to take the risk and tell you the truth. Even after you told me your plans to go to a foreign land, I still wanted to let you know. I had to.
Then came the days where you can only be seen in a virtual world called 'internet'. I tried finding you, I swear I did but all I got from you in the end was 'BUSY'.

After that I was accused of committing a "crime" which the accusers is as "guilty" as me. GONE ! The friendship, the plan on my confession, everything we had became nothing but a part of history that cannot be repeated. LOST !
.....................................................................................

Now that things have turned out this way there isn't much I can do. Tried talking you to but you wouldn't answer me. Its okay because there isn't much left to say.
I'm glad I had a friend like you in my life. I'm happy that I had that 'somebody' I wish to be with when I'm alone.I apologize for all my wrong doings. For all the wrong things I did, all the wrong words I said that might have caused you distress.

You are leaving soon. I just want to sincerely wish you a life filled with happiness and joy as you discover your new life in the foreign land.

I don't know what else I can say... Good Bye.

Bon Odori Ipoh 2010

2010-07-26T02:47:00.012+08:00

The moment I found out about this event I knew I had to be there.
Think about it. A chance to take nice photos, some traditional Japanese food, dance performance on stage, ~~the pretty ladies of Ipoh~~ and it is held in Ipoh for the 1st time in 6 years !
I went there with high expectations of it being at least as good as the Penang one if not better and the moment I began walking out from the car park . . .

It all started to go wrong !

People already heading back after just an hour. They were talking to each other quite loudly, looking disappointed saying things like 'there is nothing to eat !' or 'nothing to play wan' in Cantonese.

The moment I reached the place my first impression was 'oh.Okay. Its not as big as the PG one'. The stage for example, its not even a quarter of the one in PG !

the guy who is on stage for a singing performance looked like he is giving a speech.

The prize for winning the lucky draw is just a balloon of a coconut tree with and monkey on it and a creature that can predict results of World Cup matches.a balloon version.

And, you know what is the worst of all ???

The everyday-available food which doesn't serve the purpose of the event.
SATAY ! its something you can buy every week at the Pasar Malam.

Yes, there are plenty to look at if you only concerned about the beautiful girls but sadly, they all have to go back from this Bon Odori looking less happy.

Busy Period

2010-07-22T00:18:00.003+08:00

I'm afraid I'll have to put in less time in updating this blog for another 2 weeks. There are 3 more mid-term tests,2 presentations and 1 assignment to handle. It is quite a lot unless you are somebody who has the efficiency of an advance calculator, the discipline of a navvy and a precise timetable like a Japanese railway schedule.

Or you can turn yourself into a machine which doesn't feel any thing like 'fatigue'Until the day you break down.

Okay. There are very efficient people who can do all that with ease but I'm not that good YET.

Life Scripts

2010-07-06T06:47:00.005+08:00

A movie script tells the actors what to do in the movie.

What I mean by a life script is how you live your life. What sort of image you want to create? What kind of life do you want to live? How you define 'enjoy life'? The adrenaline rush or the peace? Things like these.
Nothing is certain in life.Except death.

I'm glad to say I've learned how to write my own history rather than to live by others. I'm glad I can decide how I live my life and not how people tell me to. The best part is I'm learning to choose how I feel and react to things. Oh yeah ! Its great when you can do that. No more need for quick-fixes

Scripts written by others are all nothing but rubbish. Things like 'Real Men smokes','do stupid things when you're emo', 'guys MUST have a girl friend' ,'all men are flirts, one will never be enough', or even 'boys like girls,girls like boys'.

I'm sure you are getting all ready to argue thinking that those are very much a part of life. But if you ask Sir Elton John about the last one, and he'll beg to differ. But any way, my point is....

I'm old enough to choose how to live my life. While some concerned parties(which I appreciate,) are suggesting that I'm missing out certain things in life.But I've decided how to live my life. The only undecided is the date of my death.
You may give me suggestions and put it in a nice way, but I don't like it when people argue about what I want in life or how I should live. I'm happy when I get things done properly. I'll go on a holiday only if I think I deserve it.
I've had my down point of my life about half a year ago. And now I'm determined pick myself up and to take advantage of my young age to do what I can for the future.

That's Donovan Tan/Aikbu/Yiwu/Zidane/...

3 weeks into university life.

2010-06-18T22:28:00.003+08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates lately. I apologize to the blog readers(if there is any) and myself. I shall keep this blog updated more frequently.

UTAR
I'm into the 3rd week of my 1st semester and I'm not happy about my progress so far. There were a lot of confusion initially about how the system works and I have to start to get used to walking/cycling under the hot sun to classes starting from next week.

Oh ya, and thanks to the once-in-four-years FIFA World Cup, I'm not only short of sleep but also struggling to stick to a regular sleeping routine. NOT GOOD.

Life in general
Overall,things haven't gone as well as I want it to. I mean there are always ups and downs in life and life has been a little bit down. But its okay ! I shall do something about it.

After a thunder storm the sun will raise again. And you shall enjoy seeing the sunrise again. I believe in that.

Future girl friend/wife
I have to say there are A LOT of pretty girls here. 'when will you find yours?' is a common question I'm being asked. But as always, I'm taking it easy on this. In other words I'm not going to put much effort in it as for now.

One might walk around this town and ask 'how can you end up single when there are so many girls here?' I think its just a matter of how hard you try.

Diploma to Degree

2010-05-26T21:58:00.006+08:00

Past, Present and Future.

FUTURE
Now that I'm about to start my life as a university student, I think its about time to give myself a preview of what is to come in the next 2 1/2 years or so.

Kampar isn't a big town but it has the biggest private university campus in the country(I think). The distance from my rented house to the campus is not something I will like very much despite having the privilege of having my bike there.

I also heard that most people will have meet fewer new friends there compared to the KTAR days because you don't really have a permanent classmate. As for friends I hope I can socialize better at UTAR. I kinda messed it up at KTAR so hopefully I can make up for it.

As for the Kampar town it is nowhere near as entertaining as Penang obviously. The nearest cinema (from what I've heard) is at Ipoh which is approximately 40 minutes away. But on the upside, Kampar has got some beautiful scenery. Hopefully I can make good use of my camera with that.

So from what I can see, its more of a case of 'make do with what you have' rather than 'enjoy all you can'. Maybe I can study better than way.

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PAST
Looking back at my KTAR days, it makes me feel a bit sad. Because I think I've wasted too much time there in front of the computer. Yes, it was good fun playing Half-Life with my year 1 housemates but I also missed out of many other things which could have been great !

Penang island is a place I really like a lot. I enjoyed the food, the lifestyle and even the hill road in Tg.Bungah and Batu Feringghi!which feels like Genting Highlands(everytime after rain.)

The island has got everything. The quite and comfortable houses at Tg.Bungah, a beach to relax at Batu Feringghi,
great food at a variety of places and somewhere you can get drunk and embarrass yourself at UPR.

Kampar will never have these combination. Not even KL can have it.

I had the chance to stay in the island, didn't fully utilize my time there which is regrettable.
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PRESENT
Now, having to give up my life at PG for Kampar I really, really want to make full use of my time as a uni student. I haven't achieved much in my studies, hopefully this time I can stay focus and get some good results.

Friendship Ruined

2010-05-19T23:50:00.003+08:00

I might have just lost two of my close friends. With them I've gone through so much with, mostly good times and now it seems those good times are behind us and may not never be again,sadly.

Initially I was worried for both of them. They stopped talking to each other for while. Because both had their own reasons for their actions over an incident and I advised one of them,A, to do the explanation calmly and clearly to E to avoid any unwanted outcome. I feared for their miscommunication but I had leave them to it.

Many weeks have passed, and suddenly, not knowing what was said between them, both pointed fingers at me. Not only that, both tried very hard to find every little fault I've did wrong to them. To make matters worse, instead of confronting me for whatever it is that I'm accused of doing, I was left clueless and stunned by the sudden change of attitude of both toward me.

Disappointed and angered after I found out that both were digging deep and hard to make me look as evil as possible, I still have to hold my nerves and not react wrongly to give the friendship a chance.

Talking about somebody behind their backs is rarely something neutral. You either highlight the good or bad. And as humans, it is very normal for an enraged person to have a rant about whoever it is he/she thinks is wrong.

While I have to admit some of my faults that are said between them are true, what I did was also something they have done before at some point. I was not even given a chance to speak for myself after I'm being accused.

As for now I don't want to do what they did to me because that will make me same as them. I can only try to solve it in another way.

Everybody have their good and dark side. IF all we are looking for is other people's fault then everybody will look wrong.

Happy Mother's Day 2010

2010-05-09T10:49:00.008+08:00

Just trying to show a mother's love for her children with some photographs.

I guess a mother's endless love for her children is just part of nature. I hope these photos can remind you of what your mothers have done for you. So take this special day to show some appreciate for her effort. Happy Mother's Day

The Photography Journey Begins

2010-05-02T15:28:00.005+08:00

1st of May 2010, the day that I finally got my DSLR. Its the Sony Alpha 550.Which is something in between a beginner & an enthusiast camera. I'm loving it.

A big step forward from a compact camera to a digital SLR.
I am very happy about this. For many people its like a lifetime relationship and I believe I've started mine.

Photography will take me to many places and hopefully it will embrace the possibility of good things to come. :)

Amber Chia @ Sunway Carnival Mall

2010-04-14T11:26:00.010+08:00

Last week,our country's supermodel came down here as a honorable guest for some fashion show. Knowing that this is one rare opportunity, I took the chance to snap some nice photos of Amber with some really expensive camera. Like how I took the chance to get some photos of the police Evo X.
As you can see, she has the body figure of a model. But what I'm curious to know is, I'm sure there are people who are as good looking as Amber Chia but why can't they be as famous? How does modeling work? Any way, taking photos of a supermodel with one of the best cameras and one of the finest lens was fun. But there was a bit of suffering. The weight of the camera and lens was very heavy.About 4 kg I think. Holding it for about 30 mins is like lifting a dumbbell only without any rest. So there you have it. My best photos of skinny Amber on my blog. On top of that, I'm going to share a song of Amber Chia here to all of her fans. Not a new song but its a nice one.

I Quit My Job

2010-04-02T22:45:00.004+08:00

There are some great things about this job but unfortunately I have to give up my 'life' for it.

This job to me is considerably good. I'm dealing with all sorts of people which is what I want to do. I get to play with my favorite toys called DSLRs whenever I'm free. I have my freedom to roam around the mall. I even get to go to shops that sell massage chair for unlimited "trials". However, all the upside of the job was not enough to compensate for its downside. Mainly the working hours. 12 HOURS. You only have 24 hours a day. half a day gone at work, assuming you sleep 8 hours a day. You are left with 4 hours, minus meals, shower, traveling and rolling on bed before and after sleep, you're left with NO LIFE at all !You will miss all the early kick offs(like Saturday's Man U-Chelsea game), your friends will say its too late to hang out (unless they are owls), you only have one single day without work. All of this, I cannot take it any longer given that I have an alternative for an income which is less time consuming and almost equally rewarding.

Plus, I'm a very active sportsperson. I only get to play futsal once a week, swim once a week. That is not enough and really cannot live a life like this.

Seberang Jaya bicycle "Rally" Circuit

2010-03-23T12:53:00.003+08:00

I call it 'rally' because of the variety of terrain surfaces that you get in this recreation park.

The wooden bridgewhich is very bumpy

The slopewhich is about 70degrees at some parts. Good enough for you to dare yourself and/or people who you call chicken.

The twisty roadyou get to turn left and right like a rally circuit but make sure you don't lose grip and crash.

The mix of tarmac, sand, grass, wood, bricks, etcThe wet leafs can even be used to slide the back of the bike more.

Being there early in the morning with the fresh air and cool weather is great fun. You'll need at least a seat with springs if you plan to cycle here everyday because your butt WILL hurt.

Jay Chou vs Bollywood

2010-03-09T19:48:00.004+08:00

Think Jay Chou's rubbish action scenes in the movie Treasure Hunter was too much? way too fake?

Check this out and see which is worse.

Honestly, I do like the Indian movie better because although it is unbelievably ridiculous it turned into a comedy !

It gave me, my friends, and my dad a good laugh today. So, hope you'll enjoy it !

I Wouldn't Shake His Hand

2010-03-02T19:00:00.004+08:00

This is about former teammates John Terry and Wayne Bridge's issue few days ago, not about me and the guy who I put a dustbin on his head few years ago. Just imagine that. Your good,old friend, cheated on his wife, banged your ex girl friend who is also your son's mother. He even got her pregnant and she end up going through an abortion.

That,to me, is a sin that can never be forgiven forever.
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A little update on myself:

I have started working at the camera again. Couldn't get used to the working time yet as I was sleeping around 4 or 5am last week. I was quite bothered about the possibility of losing a close friend for a sin I didn't commit. It looks like all is forgotten and forgiven but I have a feeling a 'scar' has been left somewhere between us.

However, there is another bigger issue that is yet to be solved. I'll keep this to myself.

Time To Talk 'Bird' Language

2010-02-22T13:30:00.005+08:00

I just confirmed this morning that I've graduated from TARC. Feels like a fluke but it is still a great feeling because BECAUSE I WASN'T EVEN TRYING !!! haha ! Lim Pek Pi Giap Liao !!! OK,enough of cock language.After the main paper, 4 resits, and now I passed it. Yeah !!! This feels as glorious as Italy's '06 World Cup glory. Which is won by penalties. By luck.

Happy Chinese New Year And Valentine's Day

2010-02-18T23:05:00.003+08:00

It was the best Chinese New Year this year. The atmosphere wasn't there. Celebration was shorter this year because of the proposed plan to board the big,'gambling' ship (which I'm not sure of the name) in Penang. That didn't happen in the end.

As for Valentine's Day (also on the same date), there isn't any gifts from friends but I'm fine with that. Because I didn't give out any. But hey, at least I had my date with 4 Queens this year. =.="

What To Consider Before Buying A DSLR

2010-02-10T21:19:00.001+08:00

<<< THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT TIPS FOR BUYING YOUR IDEAL DSLR >>>

it is about...

Things you should know before you consider buying one.

1. It is a long term investment. the standard kit lens that comes with the camera usually 18-55mm F3.5-5.6 spec, is hopelessly bad. Unless all you want is to take pictures that are better than normal compact digital cameras, that will never ever do the job for you. It is almost useless !

So what do you do when the standard lens can't fulfill your photography ideas any more? you buy new lens,flashlight and other accessories. And that is what I call, a long-term investment.
Bare in the mind the budget involved in owning a DSLR is not cheap

2. The bulky camera body. Even with the smallest, underwear-shaped case, you are still practically carrying something big with you every time you take it out. Most of the time, the most standard camera case is about half the size of your usual traveling bag. More or less-Which means extra luggage.
a DSLR is about 3 times or more the size of a compact camera depending what accessories you have

3. The Weight. With greater load of objects you are certainly going to carry more weight. That neck-strap that comes with the camera, that is just meant to prevent the camera from falling. To be a true photographer you must have additional lenses for different type of photography and sometimes even an external flash. All that will add to the weight of the camera.
Just about any body can lift it but don't complain when you think its too heavy because you asked for it

4. The passion for photography. You can go ahead a try to operate DSLR at stores and maybe, take some good looking photos but, again, if that is all you want, I'd suggest you to buy a really good compact camera or those so called 'semi-pro' ones. Its like buying a guitar for the purpose of getting chicks. When you don't get one, you throw it away. What's the point? You spend 3k to look pro and when everybody else have you, you get rid of it.
If you're not serious about photography, save your cash and buy something in between a DSLR and a compact. There are such thing

So,basically what I'm saying is this, if you don't have real,burning fire or passion for playing music, download O2Jam instead of buying a piano. You can still look cool and show off to your friends without having to spend thousands. The same goes to a camera.

KL Trip Gone Wrong

2010-02-08T02:25:00.001+08:00

My exam ended on the Thursday (28 Jan),after having a hard time preparing for exam I decided to go for a 2-day getaway at KL. I was really looking forward for my 1st visit to KL for 2 years or so.

My friend who came up with the idea and supposedly the person to plan our journey,to book the hotel, didn't do any of it. Instead, his idea was to make plans while we are on our way. Not ideal, but I worked out in the end.

Got into our hotel room, rested for a while and began our shopping trip. First stop was KLCC, had our lunch there and then, I began to notice that this whole trip was a bad idea. You, that Saturday was Thaipusum, a weekend plus a public holiday to be replaced on Monday means almost every single shop there was packed.

My friends had to wait for 15 minutes to enter the fitting room. With people all over the shop, it was very uncomfortable to look for clothes and the price at places like KLCC, Pavalion, is just ridiculous because you can get similar clothes at Penang for less.

The only place I found comfortable to shop despite the small walkway was Petaling Street at least you don't have to see 10 people walking in front of you every second. It is a wasted trip this one. You what is the biggest agony of this poorly planned trip? we went all the way to KL for it.

THE IDEA WAS SIMPLY RIDICULOUS

Last Semester Exam (TARC)

2010-01-22T21:28:00.005+08:00

Hopefully, it will be my last. With Introduction To Accounting the only paper left in between me and graduation from TARC, I must at least, manage a pass.I suffered emotionally for my failure last semester. I had to make do with only a few hours of sleep. I can feel my unusual blood pressure and all this, isn't a good feeling at all.

I want to graduate from college, go to university. A lot has been said about how boring Kampar is but still I'm looking forward to it. I must go prepare, make sure I can go through this final hurdle without must trouble. Wish me luck~! :-)

Puncture On The Bridge

2010-01-19T01:06:00.009+08:00

Last month, I had a puncture on the Penang Bridge. Precisely, it was during Christmas Day. Just after the middle span, TWO nails pierced into my bike's rear tire. Fortunately, I was able to notice the lost of air pressure early and pull over safely.I tried calling the bridge hot-line for help but I couldn't really hear what the guy on the phone was saying. So I waited, for almost an hour.I was on there, hopelessly waiting. And then help -a crook who put the nails there, came to my rescue. He wanted to charge me RM23 bucks for his GOOD quality tires. I gave myself two options:

1.Give him some money ;and if he refuses and demands for more

2.Punch him in the face VERY HARD, teach him a lesson and leave. SERIOUSLY

I got very emotional. Angry at the fact that I'm on a bike, not a car. Raged at the fact some of my friends are lucky enough to have their own car and I'm not. I blamed my parents, I blamed god, I blamed everybody but myself.

And now I look back with regret that I let out my anger at my dad for an offense he didn't commit. But, my biggest regret however, was that I chose to shift my attention and focus on what has happened and not what I could have done. That was wrong, but now I know. It is another lesson of life... LEARNED !

Mid-Jan Crisis

2010-01-17T01:30:00.004+08:00

I'm not close to having any thing like mid-life crisis yet but err...

Bank account is almost EMPTY.
Sales result has been TERRIBLE.
Good friends are all MISSING.
When I turn to dad, he IGNORES.
I'm growing too much fat and it is UNHEALTHY.
Couldn't sleep well sometimes because of sleeping DISORDER
Liverpool's recently performances have been AWFUL

In short, I am feeling a bit DEPRESSED.

The More The Better?

2010-01-13T03:39:00.008+08:00

I recently had a very bad habit which is drinking ! And I've just had a stout, which some call it Black Dog in Hokkien. Having swallowed one can down so easily I began to think of the very first time when I lost my 'virginity' to Guinness by tasting it.
IT WAS AWFUL. Terrible! It was so bitter that it made my face crumpled. But now however, I can simply down a can effortless. Suddenly, the idea of sex and alcohol connection pops up. I just realized that they do have some kind of relation in certain ways except this time,it is about a 21 year old guy's drinking experience that turns out to be like-a virgin Mary having her very first of many...some call it THRILL

You see...

Initially, the number one experience is never the best,just like having Guinness and sex. And then slowly, you start to ignore the bitter/pain in your mind and eventually, you end up enjoying it. Alone, with your partner or in a group is another story.
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I'm suffering some kind of insomnia. Something is bothering me lately. The thought of having to get something done keeps me worried and awake. I can't do it too early nor can I do it too late.

But even if I have done that something, things might turn out ugly as well. In short, there is something important to me at stake.*I do like the floating sensation produced by alcohol but I don't want a beer belly.*

PMS

2010-01-10T03:09:00.005+08:00

No, not the period. I mean Poor Man Suffering. This is something I've always wanted to tell a friend of mine.

Dude, you have been suffering quite a lot. . .

You have endured starvation by having 2 meals a day.
You saved your money to top up her prepaid.
You broke your bank so that she can have nice, fancy meals.
You have to bare with her temper and ridiculous "rules" you are expected to obey.
You wanted to do a lot of things but some of it has to go because of your demanding girl friend.

It has been there for all to see. Not just me, all your friends have seen that and couldn't understand why did this 'relationship' of yours is still there. Its just not mutual, and so one-way traffic.
Maybe you think that for love, it is all right. Maybe she is the one in a million to you. But just hold on for a second and think back,with your brain and NOT your ~~penis~~ feelings, is this what you want?

I believe all those ex-housemates of yours would agree and, advise you to end your suffering. I don't mean to ruin what you have with her but it all seems SO WRONG.

The Fall in 2009 and The Climb in 2010

2010-01-02T11:24:00.013+08:00

With 2009 behind us I believe many have made their new year's resolution for 2010. I have made a whopping 10 resolutions and I have to say none was really accomplished. And that somewhat sums up what a disappointing year 2009 was.
Life will always have its highs and lows and 2009 was the low point for several reasons.

Failure to graduate twice have really affected me in a few ways.
My second stint at K.Y. Digital was rather disappointing.
Part time job at PC Fairs was okay but I'm not happy with the rest of it.
Fitness plan failed miserably and now I cant even wear last year's CNY jeans.
Home is no longer the same place with my daddy possibly suffering from a menopause.
Liverpool FC had a great season, finished second but are now way behind the leaders at 7th place this season.
the world economy downturn.

Positive notes of 2009? There has to be some at least.

My work has been more consistent now and will most probably buy a DSLR this year.
Had lots of futsal games. I just hope it doesn't wear my joints out.
Had a simple yet pleasant birthday celebration. That reminds me that I still have my family and friends.

Honestly I cant figure out more for now. Yes, there are good moments but most of it was just BAD. A good year gone BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD !

Bye bye to a disappointing 2009
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So I have fell in 2009, the only thing left to do next is to climb back up and that is what I intend to do.

I don't need to make pointless resolutions just to make up the numbers. Must be realistic.

And here are the list of goals I promise I will put in serious effort to achieve.

GRADUATE. seriously.

Buy a DSLR. Photography journey begins this year !!!

Fitness. Belly Off ! Muscles on ! Burst of power and stamina.
Holiday destination: Langkawi and Genting

Create a reading habit.

That is half the number of resolution compared to last year. Let's see what are the new challenges 2010 will throw at me. Whatever it is, I'm ready to face it with a smile on my face. Pretty much like Schumacher !
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as for the Favorite Photo of the year. The wave photo has won it by a small margin of 7 points. Calculated by mine own version of F1 style pointing system. I shall get it framed.

That is all for now. Wishing everybody a Happy New Year 2010 and have a fruitful year. take care !

Favorite Photo Of The Year-Nominations

2009-12-29T14:58:00.012+08:00

There are some simple rule for this. Photos cannot be taken from the internet or from any other sources. I have to be involved in all these photos in one way or another.

I'm a big fan of photography and I take quite a lot of photos. (mind you, not the self-portrait ones)
So here they are !

photo number 1:
On a rather sad note, this photo sums up the misery of failing to graduate. that is me looking at all my classmates that have made it through.

photo number 2:
This is a happy one for me as Seng Keat fails miserably to stop me from winning just about every race in Need For Speed.

photo number 3:
A magnificent view at Penang's Hard Rock Hotel with Eunys and Amelia in it. NICE. There are a few with that view and its kinda hard to choose.

photo number 4:
Perfect timing by Wener. There were Typhoon at the Philippines, minor tsunamis elsewhere and we were in Pangkor's beach ! Kevin's reaction shows just how hard hitting those waves were.

photo number 5:(just to make up the numbers)
Seng Keat's face that sums up how the espresso at Segafredo tastes during my 21st birthday celebration.

So there we have it. the 5 nominated photos. Send me your comments on which is best,2nd best and 3rd best in my blog, facebook, msn, whichever way. the result will be posted on the 31st of December. "vote" now. I'll frame the winning photo for being the favorite photo of the year !

My Day At Queen's Bay

2009-12-18T23:50:00.002+08:00

Had a TERRIBLE,AWFUL day and it seems, nothing can cheer me up for now. Here's how bad my day is.

Before Work
-rain coat pants pocket torn, lost my coins for parking. ended having to to ask from passer by for 50 cents.
-raining while on the way to work.
-after parking, went all the way to the entrance and then the guard tells me NO HELMET. so I have to walk back to the bike parking space and walk back while its still raining.

During work
-boss told me the venue is at the 3rd floor, I walked all the way but couldn't find it because it is at 2nd floor.
-walked quickly because I was getting late, only to find out that the people at the shop are even more late. so I had to wait for them.
-boss sent 3 people.only 2 people managed to sell, I didn't after standing there for so 12 long hours.
-lunch time queue was very long. A customer in front wanted to order KFC food in McD,so the cashier had to explain to her that McD's fries and like this and that, bla bla bla....while I'm waiting for my turn to order with my stomach almost empty.
-dinner time, clear sky as i went outside the mall across the street to eat. after dinner, it rained again.
-All the food in QB is expensive.

After work
-I told my dad that this kind of work, no one can work for long. He scolded me for that.
-Reached home at 11pm sharp. which means I'll be very late or will not make it in time to meet up with my friends tomorrow.
-The thought of having to work from 1030-1030 again tomorrow.

Seriously, think about it. you only got 24 hours a day. 12 hours at work. 8 hours to sleep. One hour for traveling and one hour for meals before and after work. 2 hours approximately left. You don't have a life any more. Unless I've got no family and friends, unless this job pays bloody well, there is NO WAY I could ever work for that many hours everyday.

The only good thing about the day ??? - knowing that I will only work there for 3 days.

What To Do ???

2009-12-02T03:58:00.003+08:00

I'm so disturbed by these thoughts. Every time it goes through my mind I'll end up having sleepless nights.
I have probably seen a little too much of the dark side and I have lost the believe that such a thing or person still exist. Maybe it does, but certainly rare in the real world.
If I'm in the opposite position I would have acted in the same manner as well. But I am where I am.
I don't want to blame the whole world for this because it is just not right. But what could I do to make a significant difference? Is there any thing I could have done in the past to change the present? How can I change myself to make a difference?
Life has been arranged in such a way and it will remain like this for the next few years at least. They say you have to appreciate what you have in order to be happy but how can I be happy when I'm now powerless to change the way things are?
The situation is not getting any better at all. There will be no miracles and I need time to solve this problem. By the time its over, what's gone is gone.
I don't want pay the price for somebody else's mistake. Why should I be punished for another person's sin? But guess what, I might just have to swallow that bitter pill and accept it.
I have always believed if I really wanted something realistically possible, I will get it sooner or later. But to get everything the way I want it is a major doubt.

Feeling quite depressed. I hope I'm wrong about this. Hopefully things aren't as bad as they seem.

HOPEFULLY...

Eye Infection Season

2009-11-09T02:25:00.002+08:00

Both of my eyes are infected. I can't go out without sunglasses or I'll scare people with my vampire-in-real-life face.

But from what I've heard, I'm not the only one. It must be one of those time, the season where many people are infected by this eye virus.

Having seen a doctor, not much advise was given on how to prevent or how to speed up the recovery. The only thing I'm told to do is to take my medication on time.

What I've learned from the net is that one should keep his/her hands clean all the time. Try not to rub your eyes. There are so much info on the net I don't even know which is relevant.

As for my infection, the symptom starts with you having a lot of... "waste" (don't know what should I call it) around the infected eye. Followed by some pain around the eye. By the time you wake up, you'll have even more eye "waste" around it and you'll have to wash it with clean water. Next, you'll suffer for a few days looking like a vampire. Except its for real, not like those you see during Halloween.

Its my 3rd day living with the red eyes now. Hopefully tomorrow I'll recover by half at least. It has not improved much in the last 2 days.

In a real mess

2009-10-22T04:34:00.003+08:00

Appeal results is going to take another week or two. Although it can happen, but the chances are low.

If miracle do happen, I will go for the January intake surely. Very UNLIKELY. May intake is only 4 months later and maybe, with more students enrolling by then, I'll have a better chance to look for my future wife. *some say that is when you find one* Not ideal but hardly a worst case scenario.

Haven't got a job since July and if I were to help my family financially, I need to get a job before November. That could be a bit of a problem.Apart from the daily expenses, I also plan to invest on something I've always wanted.A DSLR ! It will help me cope with the so called boring-life at Kampar. But it seems I might just have to delay the purchase.

To makes things a little bit worse, my biological clock has been set to London's GMT. Its 5am now and I'm still very much awake.

I'm a jobless, 21 year old who failed to graduate yet again. In a real mess now.

Missed Graduation By The Smallest Of Margins

2009-10-13T01:21:00.003+08:00

Its like missing the World Cup after losing out on goal difference. Only this time, the wait is 8 months long, not 4 years.

Its like being suspended for a Champions League final for a stupid red card. Only this time, I'm appealing to TARC, not UEFA.

Its like Zidane in the 2006 World Cup. Put in a fantastic performance, and during his last match as a pro in the final, got himself sent off and France lost. Only this time, my dreams are still alive.

Its like Ah Beh playing futsal. Ran through the whole defense, with the keeper away from goal, the target wide open, pulls the trigger and . . . HITS THE POST !!! As a result, we had a "half-time" break, because everybody laughed their butt off. Only this time, its not funny.

If you have no idea of what I'm talking about, no worries.I have it all summed up.

To sum up my feelings after getting a C- out of 4, One simple word-disappointed. It was that close, having passed the rest of my nightmare papers and now, this one, one grade below passing grade. So close,yet so far.

I've submitted my appeal. Not sure if it will do any good. Either way I'll go consult the college counselor soon.

Pangkor 30/9-2/10 (2009)

2009-10-06T01:44:00.016+08:00

1 Malaysia, 1 Pangkor !!!

Went for a vacation at Pangkor, a place I haven't visited for a very long time. The tour guide was Kev this time. We're also joined by Marcus-nator Kim. So its me and 2 big, hairy dudes on an all guys trip !Sounds wrong? It is. Could have been a great holiday but the weather somewhat ruined the plan a bit.

First of all we were unaware that there were earthquakes,tsunami and typhoon around SEA until we came back from the beach. The sea was rough. The waves hit us quite hard.As a result I lost my sleeper which was at the edge of the beach. Looks pretty fun isn't it? It is.

An all-guys holiday trip is not always bad thing but this time the trip does feel quite 'empty'. Its like McValue Meal without the fries. Enjoyable, but not ideal. I tried but none of my female friends could join. And the make matters worse our tour guide brought along the most gay movie, ever made called Bruno !

The sunset was unfortunately nowhere as beautiful as the one I saw at Penang few days ago.The whole feel of enjoying the view just wasn't there.But on the upside, the wind and waves are much stronger. That makes the beach look dangerous and very much more exciting !

But then because it was dangerous the boats wouldn't take us to the surrounding islands and of course, no snorkeling. Under these conditions its just not possible.

The whole trip was not bad. There aren't too many place to visit at Pangkor but if there were chicks around and no bad weather, I'm sure it would have been much better ! Any way, thanks to Kev for being the tour guide and thanks to Mr.Tan, the tauke of Seagull, for fetching us around.

Exam Ends,The Wait Begins

2009-09-18T21:12:00.008+08:00

'OK, you may leave the hall now.'the main invigilator said which puts to an end to yet another STRESSFUL,HECTIC,SUFFERING,TIRING, semester exam. The reason why an exam is such a pain in the butt is due to my inability to carry out a well planned study program,AGAIN.

I mean, I still did my work at the last minute. I resigned from work 1 month before exam but still it didn't give me enough time. When short of time I started to panic. I couldn't sleep at night. My mind was too stressed to the extent that I can't absorb any thing. IT'S SUCH A SHAME I ONLY LEARN ONE LESSON AFTER ONE MISTAKE

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, I'm sure I did better than last semester and I believe I've learned quite a lot out of this experience.
Now I know:

Without the help from the lecturers, certain question can't be solved by asking friends.
Quality,NOT quantity time is what I need to prepare for exam.(There is no quality time when you don't have enough time to study)
Don't get stuck on small obstacles.(which I always do)Don't stop,Move on
Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Junk food,sleep deprivation don't do any good.

As I've said before, it is make or break. I'm planning apply for UTAR's Jan 2010 intake. THERE IS A LITTLE TWIST,HOWEVER. IN CASE I do screw up this time, I'll just work until May 2010 for my expenses and then, continue my studies.
Because after some serious consideration, I figured I needed at least a degree for my future career.

P/S: Much thanks to all the people who have wished me luck and gave me all the help and support. Olive,thanks for your teachings and patience.Kev, thanks for the rides in your UR-Kelisa-Sparkle. I appreciate it guys. Thanks for the ride again.

Make Or Break

2009-08-30T13:58:00.010+08:00

My first resit paper of this semester is on the 2nd of September. I have more than 48 hours but will that be enough? As of now I haven't done enough to ensure a pass yet.

TIME IS RUNNING OUT

My plans to start revision early was not well executed. Memories of last semester's moments of failure are still clear in my mind. I even had nightmares about it recently.

Last semester, I had all 4 resit papers in 2 days. I did all I can within a short time. I was under a lot of stress and I'm also mentally, very tired. Eventually, I failed miserably. And so my plans to study in TARC KL had to be called off.

This semester however, things are looking a bit better. I have a lengthy schedule from the 2nd to the 17th for my 4 subjects which is a good thing. . . If I make full use of my time that is. But the stakes are pretty much the same. Because I have a deal with my parents.
If I don't pass all of my subjects this semester, I will not be given any funds to further my studies. The study loan can't cover all expenses.

The bottom line is, I have to pass all. Scoring or not is not important to me now. I want to graduate and go to Kampar.
Life at PG TARC was good but not great. I want to make the best out of my remaining time as a student at Kampar.

Old And Abondoned

2009-07-27T11:57:00.003+08:00

1st post ever to be written Tun Mahathir style

1.The recent newspaper headline have caught my attention and got me thinking.

2.The number of old folks being abandoned by their children is on the rise. A sad news it is but that is the trend.

3.Parents have to bear the burden of raising their children since they are born. A mother can look after 5 children or so.

4.Now all 5 children are grown up, looking after their mother until THAT DAY comes seem to be too much of a burden.

5.Orphans would never do that to their step parents but those born and raised by their biological parents would.

6.Is taking care of an old man that much harder than taking care of a baby? I don't know.

7.In Singapore, those who are caught abandoning their parents can be jailed for up to six months.

8.Our government should learn from our neighbors on this matter.

9.If one could speak out words like 'I got my own life to live now.Goodbye' to their parents, he/she can say it to any body.

10.If you cannot respect the very people who have raised you with love and care,then there is no point respecting the gods you worship. Because you cannot respect any body.

11.I might have missed out of those who had not have a good time with their parents. Child abuse,rape, etc.

12.BUT, how many people in the old folks home actually did that? How many of them actually deserved to be there?

Karma

2009-07-24T13:45:00.011+08:00

What goes around, comes around.

Yesterday Kev was saying on his facebook that his new SE Xperia X1 broke down and was sent to the 'hospital'. My reaction?

Yes, literally. See?
Today,guess what happened? On my way to work, I had a puncture and arrived at work late.

So I called and inform Ben about it.And His reaction?

You might have thought so.

And I also got mad and replied with 'MCB ni. hen hao siao ar !?' In mandrin.

So, what I've been taught about karma proved to be true,again. And that makes me wonder, what is happening to Ben tomorrow ???

The Mirror At Work

2009-07-19T11:52:00.012+08:00

I'm seeing my old self at work. Watching him serve a customer reminds me of myself about 3 years ago. He is hard working,aggressive,he never stops trying, and has no fear of rejection. Always eager to know how much other people earn from the sale that he missed. Always the 1st to react when customers walk in. That was me. And now I see that in him.

Now things have changed. I'm laid back and more relaxed at work. I got fed up with this place. I have more time for exam preparation and photography but that is just not my main purpose at work.
I used to take the shortest lunch and dinner break at off-peak hours when I was at Megamall. Worrying that staying away from the shop will result in missing a sale. But now I take one full hour breaks even at weekends. I don't care because usually there is no sale to miss. And while I'm taking things easy at work, he is there to take every advantage of it.
I don't blame him. He did nothing wrong and should take credit for his hard work. The only thing that I find irritating is his tendency to get involved in my sales.

It is tough to earn more here. Back then when the economy was good and shopping malls were few and far away, selling 3 cameras in a day is just routine. But now its the opposite.I sell 1 in 3 days. Sometimes less. And I have to work 12 hours everyday.*tiring* When there is no people there is no sale. This is not an excuse but a condition.

Facing my old self everyday isn't such a great thing.

I can't take this half day long,less rewarding job any more. I'm going to quit at the end of the month to prepare for exams in September.

21 Years Old

2009-07-09T11:05:00.006+08:00

NO, it is not my birthday today. It is probably the most significant birthday of your life.

I see my friends celebrate their 21st birthday one after another. Some wants to throw a party. Some wants to relax at beach. Others kept it very simple.

So with mine coming up in a few months I started to think how am I going to celebrate mine. How do I celebrate moving from
childhood/boyhood TO adulthood/manhood ?

BUT... There is a problem. Because I can't figure out many reasons to celebrate. I mean, I screwed up and missed the convocation. I'm not happy with a few things that I can't do much about now. And I haven't achieved much in recently months.

Everybody have their own way. I can't figure out mine for now. Any suggestion my friends?

Happy Off Day

2009-07-09T10:40:00.012+08:00

Somehow during my 2 years studying at PG TARC which located in Tg.Bunggah, I've never fully explored Batu Ferrigghi. It is a famous tourism spot in Penang. Many people have told me about the beach and Sunset Bistro.I've always enjoyed vacations at the beach
Yesterday,Wednesday which is my off-duty day, I went over to see what's what. A big thanks to Su Ping for being kind enough to provide transportation. And also special thanks to Wei Chang,a guy from Ipoh who came to Penang for a vacation because if he had not come, we wouldn't bother to go all the way there.

I have to say it is the best off day I've ever had so far! Much better than the Kampar trip for 2 reasons.

First, there is a beach and of course, a beautiful scenery plus the bikini babes and animals you can't see in town.
Second, traveling is less tiring and takes less time to reach. Its in Penang !

The only thing I didn't quite like is the rough sand and the weather. Which was very warm.

But you wouldn't be so bothered if you are on the parachute being dragged by a boat or just enjoying water sports.
And as you would expect, you have to pay a bit extra for a tourism hot spot. For the short 5 minute flying-without-wings experience costs you *170bucks. RM120 for a 35mins jet skiing in a 2 seater.

Even my iced peach juice costs RM4.90
I'm not whining about what I paid, I'm just trying to bring up some awareness.

I don't know about prices of banana boat ride, 4-seat-in-a-row water drifting,"horse riding", and literally horse riding.

I abosolutely loved my trip there and I'm thinking about visiting Batu Ferringhi again soon. Who wants in?

Opening an invitation for all ! 'mai kong wa bo chio hor'

When Others' Happy Make You Feel Miserable

2009-07-07T19:18:00.010+08:00

Browsing through facebook and friendster have not been a great experience lately. Photos of others' graduation. My classmates, my cousins, my friends... They have all earned the right to attend the convocation as a graduate. And I have nothing but a sincere congratulations to all those who have made it.

As for me, and a few others who suffered the same fate as me, I can only say Keep Trying ! Finish what you started and don't ever quit.

I don't blame any body but myself for this. And they did nothing wrong by sharing photos of their sweet success moments online.

I felt bad because I tried but not hard and smart enough. I wanted to graduate. I want it bad.
I wanted to be among my M26 classmates in this photos.

I thought I could share that moment with my friends.

I wished I can stand in this photo with my cousins. What a family reunion that would have been ! My granny would have been so proud.
The experience of going through such a hard time have thought me one thing. My previous method and the amount of work I put in for exam,is not good enough.

Now that is it decided that I either graduate by September,go to UTAR in Janaury OR settle with a diploma. Any more delays in studies is unacceptable.

In other words, I do well this well, I continue and if I don't, that's it. The fun ends.

With that in mind I'll have to do everything I can to make sure I do well. I might quit my job,study until I drop,~~cheat in exam~~,beg for help, any thing to get this right.

I have 7 weeks left now to tackle my worst subjects in college. I hope I'm up for this. To those in similar situation as me, start early,study smart,do your best! And you shall have no regrets at the end of day.

Good Luck

My Pet Sugar Glider ???

2009-07-02T11:53:00.011+08:00

Kampar UTAR is said be a boring place to people but T-back Marcus-nator said it is fun while Tzun Hoong called the place hell.

So I thought I would need some kind of companion there. Kev said I should find a girl friend instead but I have other ideas. I'll have a pet ! Previously I had hamsters but now I'm thinking about Sugar Gliders!

I did some brief research on the net and found out a few facts about these animals of Australia/Indonesian origin.

The size is slightly bigger than a hamster but it has a much longer tail. It has the cute looks that everybody will adore. But unlike hamsters who has lived with humans for many generations, the pet Sugar Gliders' ancestors live in the wild. Which means they not very used to living with humans yet. Some say.

Preparing for food takes a bit of time and effort. The owner must also know what to and what not to feed their little pets. This might be troublesome to some.

It bonds well with its owner. It is very playful in an adorable way and loves to climb on the owner's shirt.

But then there is a problem. These little creatures are very attention needy. Beast Master Pei Hong said it is recommended that you breed two so that it has the company and attention it needs. Like in the wild, they live in groups. Some web site also says that boredom and loneliness can cause these cute little animals to die.

While most hamsters live for about 1 1/2 year to 2, sugar gliders can live up to 15 years. Which is almost as long as a dog but it doesn't guard the house like a dog.

There is however one thing sugar gliders and hamsters have in common. They are both active at night but sugar gliders can make louder noise.

But one thing makes a sugar guider stand out from the rest of the home pets. These little creatures, can actually glide or fly downwards without getting themselves hurt !

But even here this could be a problem. Because if it can jump off from somewhere to you, I fear it might jump into another animal's mouth.
I haven't tried breeding a sugar glider yet. But I know it bonds well with its owner but could be a difficult to handle.

If you have some information about these cute little animals to share, please send an email to Thank you

Kampar Road Trip

2009-06-22T15:16:00.002+08:00

Having thought about going to Kampar for some time, finally this time it happened. Much thanks to Kev for offering a ride, I had the chance to see what's what.The surroundings, the food, the lake, the campus and the random accident spot.

So here is what I found out.

Distance from home
It is quite far away. Over 140km from the nearest Juru toll to Gopeng exit. It took us about 2 hours to get there.

Without any music one might fall asleep on the wheel.

So you might as well drive fast and try stay awake.

Light after darkness in the tunnel

Surrounding Houses

There are quite a lot of houses there. From single story to 3 storey houses. There is still some distance from the nearest house to the campus.Although the scenery on the way can be rather enjoyable to watch but...

I bet those going to classes won't enjoy their ride much under the extremely warm weather.

The Campus
In terms of size, it is HUGE. The biggest Private University maybe. But that is what I have expected to see. Big campus, lots of students. What I didn't expect though, was this.

Should I call it bicycle town?

Unfortunately I didn't have any wide lens with me or else I could have shown you a better picture of UTAR's very own, CHINA.

The food
Had only one meal there somewhere near that Island Red cafe. I had economy rice, the price,the taste is acceptable.

The entertainment
Nothing much really. So I'll start off with what is lacking in Kampar

NO CINEMA. Nearest one is in Ipoh.
NO FUTSAL COURT. A proper one.
NO CLUB. The nearest place to find one is in Ipoh.
NO BIG HYPERMARKETS.Like Gurney Plaza,QB, Megamall or Mid Valley. None.
NO BEACH. No seaside barbecue. No new year's count down on the beach.

But luckily, it is still some places to hang out with friends
Cyber Cafes, mamak shop,Tesco and there is Ipoh if you don't mind travelling.

Entertainment wise Kampar is no match for Penang.

Friends
I do know a few people studying here. So I shouldn't feel too lonely at my 1st few weeks there.And I'm sorry that I didn't call any of them out because it was a quick in-and-out,straight to the point visit.

Course Duration
The duration depends on how I arrange the number of subjects according the the minimum/maximum credit hour.

The number of papers exempted on the other hand, depends on the lecturer and the FUCKculty. Yes. I was told its called the FUCKculty.

Conclusion
UTAR Kampar seems to be a decent place to study. Quiet, less distraction, peaceful. Which is good because that is the main purpose of going there. BUT...

The lack of entertainment could be a problem to some. Unlike in PG or KL,Kampar is a peaceful and quiet place to be.

The campus doesn't have enough parking lot and to make things worse, instead of first come first serve they'll have a lucky draw instead for the parking stickers.

If all goes well in my September exam, most probably I will be there in January.

Penang Trip Blues

2009-06-18T17:37:00.013+08:00

Went over to Penang this morning to collect a bill and meet up with my ex housemates.

The weather was a little bit cold but very hazy. Not much people at the jetty,which means no long waits for the ferry.

I also had the chance to see a helicopter carrier which I heard, is British.It has 4 helicopters on the deck arranged in line.

I arrived at the college, everything looks pretty much the same.

Took the bill, inquired about the exam,etc. It was all fine until I came cross this.

A few bag of chimers. Or graduation robes. And it says...
knn. *tulan*

While some of my friends are looking forward to their big day sadly I can't even think about it. zzz

Next Post: My trip to UTAR Kampar !!!

Who Is He?

2009-06-12T23:46:00.004+08:00

There is this dude, added me for the 4th time in facebook today.

1st time, I accepted and removed him from my friends list.
2nd and 3rd time I ignored his request.
and now,again he wants to add me.

So you must be wondering why don't I just add him up and end the story.

This, is the problem.

I apologies if I offend anybody but every time I browse my facebook looking for friends and this picture of a dude,starring at me like that, I find that quite gay.

Really.

4 times now. Mr Lao Sheng, must have some intention for all that effort. None of my mutual friends with him knows him. Most of the mutual friends are my ex course/classmates.

And I don't remember seeing him before.

Who is he? Does he know me? What does he want from me? HELP ~~~

Recent Happenings

2009-06-09T00:32:00.007+08:00

Just a lil update on what is going on lately and I'll start off with...

Car Battery got stolen.
Yeah, literally,the battery. Nothing else.

And while my house car is out of battery,another car has too much of it. Stupid blinking lights. zzz

Getting out of shape
Yeah, I can tell from the increasing belly size. Have been eating a lot and haven't been to the gym for months now.

Injured knee
Both sides.The right one hurts more but I don't have problems walking. Will stay away from football for a few days at least.

Possibilities for UTAR After further considerations and discussions,the possibility of going to UTAR has opened up.

-UTAR route costs lesser,Kampar could be a good place to study.But it might take me longer time to complete the course due to credit transfer.
-KTAR on the other hand requires no credit transfer.KL is a more exciting place to be but because TAR College's status as a college,it cannot offer a cert with a degree title. So my decision will also depend on the summer top up to degree from advance diploma.

The return to Kuang Yee
8-6-2009 I return KY to try to make some money but this time,at Sunway Carnival Mall. By the looks of it,I doubt I will like the work as much as I did back then at Megamall. Sunway Mall is not only short of staff,but also short of sales as well. NOT IDEAL

Addiction
Got addicted to something. Not sure if its good or bad but addiction sounds bad to me. This one I'll keep it to myself. NO, I'm not into drugs

Lost Direction

2009-05-30T04:36:00.007+08:00

The failure at the April/May exam didn't cause me to lose my headache, become an alcoholic or end up looking like this.

I'm fine actually. Just not used to staying at home while others are going to class. After two years at TARC it feels weird not to see my ex-classmates everyday.

BUT,what is worrying me now is ticking clock. Day after day I've been wasting my life. And worse still,my friends' recent birthdays only reminds me that I'm 21 years old this year. And yet,after my 'sem break' I'm playing NFS Carbon,timing the fastest laps of cars on different tracks. Do you think I'm loosing my mind?I don't feel like celebrate my 21st birthday because, there is little to celebrate.

I'm staying up until 4am everyday to do this.

I'm lost. In direction,not my mind. Its the end of May and what I'm going to do in June is still uncertain. I will find a work but when? where? and for who?

And then there is my studies. In my previous post I said I want to graduate in September and now, that statement has to be changed. I changed my mind. I'm thinking about going for advance diploma next May. To study in Kampar UTAR sound quite tempting but then the because I have to switch course the study duration is longer.

In the mean time, I have to demolish this habit of 4am morning gaming rubbish. Games are fun but like any thing else, too much is not good.

All this really, shouldn't have happened. Many have got through the exam and I'm among the few in my class to get stuck. Seriously, it feels terrible. Its like being left in the freezing cold while everybody else is enjoying the summer.
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On the bright side however, this gives me another chance to reconsider and explore more options for the future. Without falling down,we don't learn how to pick ourselves up. So I hope, this time, after this DISASTROUS failure, I can finally start my best chapters of my life !

Exam result revealed

2009-05-18T09:50:00.003+08:00

It is make or break. A lot was at stake. I had a lot at stake and was certainly very stressed out by it.

The result: a lot worse than I thought.

So I will not be going to KL this May. What I will do next will be decided within the next few days.

The only thing I will do for certain is to resit all of the remaining subjects in september.

That's all from me now.

When Rain Falls

2009-05-17T00:12:00.005+08:00

Rain, could fall at any time of the day. And when it does, bikers have plenty to worry about.

The wet road, the strong wind, the potholes, the oil, and the reckless and inconsiderate. A lot can go wrong. Bikes break down, tyre punctures. Sometimes you really are on a knife edge.

Being on 2 wheels under the rain is never going to be great. The cold, the danger. The rain can be so heavy sometimes that you get hit by the drops of water so hard it felt like bullets.

Every time I go through that I'll ask myself 'how many more times I have to go through this?' To continue traveling on 2 wheels means facing the danger and feeling the weather. But to stop riding would mean I have to be on foot !

I enjoyed some of the ride but I don't like the danger. I've been lucky once and escaped with some scratches. Who knows when will it happen again?

Who gives a damn this any way?

Head Shot Count

2009-05-13T13:28:00.004+08:00

An ass on a bike gets to swing smartly. BANG !

Jr lived the USA life outside the USA. BANG !

There are some who did it, you wait for your turn. BANG !

They had theirs, have you had yours? BANG !

Seeing too many bad things makes the world look bad. BANG !

Worse still, things aren't getting better at all. BANG !

6 bullets in a revolver spent.

p/s: You may ignore this post. Just rumbling...

*previous typo error corrected*

The End To College Life In Penang

2009-05-08T01:42:00.007+08:00

Exam is over. I don't know if I can manage to pass all of the 5 resits papers. Of the 5, 4 came at the last 2 days which really gave me a lot of stress. I was on the brink of giving up and stop the suffering but then I remember I wanted to continue my studies at KL, and so kept trying to the very last moment.

Whatever the outcome, I'm glad that I didn't give up. I gave my all. The only regret is that I didn't start from early. The exam agony is over, but the wait, for the day when I face the reality of having my dream come true or shattered, bothers me everyday. I am being haunted for my past mistakes...

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Went to hostel early in the morning to pack my stuff and being them back home. It is quite sad to be leaving my 2nd home after 2 years there. Sometimes it felt better than my actual home.

I'll be missing the life there. Missing my college friends who will part ways after graduation. It all started and came to an end in a flash.

I enjoyed the freedom I had there. Of the 2 years, I think the first is still the more memorable one for some reason...

Although I didn't make the best out of my college life in Penang, but
the kind of life I had at Tg Bungah will always be remember.

Superman

2009-04-20T22:50:00.009+08:00

Yesterday I said there will be lack of updates but today I had to post this up after I came across this.

No wonder only "ang mos" (caucasions) can become superman.

It makes sense because, they do have, the keras,kasar,and panjang !

Some say that black people also have the extra large ones.

Maybe they do.

Last Push For Graduation

2009-04-19T21:44:00.002+08:00

First of all I have to announce that there will be lack of blog updates for the following weeks due to exam. it is my last semester exam and this is the one that will determine my graduation.

So much to do with time running out.And,of course, so much at stake. I find myself at this position over and over again as a result of my bad last minute work habit.

I was overconfident sometimes but now I realize that having an advantage sometimes mean nothing if you don't work hard.

Now every minute,every hour counts. I must study at any given moment. Exam starts at 27th April and ends on the last day which is the 6th May.

4 subjects in two days from 5th to 6th is tough but there is still time.

Best of luck to those of are having exam !

I can't talk to them any more

2009-03-29T21:57:00.005+08:00

Seems like the older I become the lesser they care. We are not as close as we use to be. Every time I try to talk to them about something, they will come up with their own story.

And they are my parents.

I try to express my feelings about something, they tell me all their old "solutions" from their past. Their past is theirs, mine is mine so it is different. They don't even try to understand I want to say any more.

It is like a doctor trying to give you treatment without diagnosing first.

Not only communications is getting increasingly harder, but the environment at home is no better too. With money as a financial constrain I am quite disturbed by how the way things are falling apart at home. No wonder hostel is a better place than home now.

And with this I have to make a tough decision.

I can't talk to them because they don't listen any more. I know where I want to go but whether or not I should remains a question. With the current situation getting worse day by day it doesn't help me with my decision.

Should I carry on with my studies after my diploma? or should I just get a job and hold on?

Decision Made !

2009-03-21T22:11:00.002+08:00

After spending the last few months trying to make a decision on my future,having gathered all the information I need,I have finally decided to further my studies at KL TARC for advance diploma.

Having also put UTAR(Kampar) into consideration, I thought about the reason why I chose to pursue E-commerce & Marketing over Marketing. If I happen to be going to UTAR I would have to switch course, most likely to Marketing and that, I don't want to do.

Financially I think my family can afford to fund me for the 2 years in KL but for the 4 months degree programme at UK... That I will decide when I have to.

As for now,as long as I make it through my resit papers,I will be doing my advance diploma. So, KL it is !

Who else is going there ?

I Love You Liverpool FC

2009-03-14T23:03:00.003+08:00

I can't hold back my feelings any more because Liverpool just beaten Man Utd at Old Trafford 4-1. Earlier in the season they also beaten the EPL defending champs 2-1 at Anfield.

They did it in the same way, coming back from a goal down. I screamed and clapped so hard that my palms hurt and I now have some sore throat

Yes I know what they (man utd fans) will be saying.'we are still top of the league', 'we have a game in hand', bla bla bla.

No matter if Man U were to win the league, we beat the champs-twice !

Who cares if you,Man U fans were to have the last laugh?Either way Liverpool,Chelsea and Arsenal fans will be laughing at you. 4 goals ! huu huu wooo~!!!

I Don't Know How

2009-03-03T11:09:00.003+08:00

Just got to know my exam results yesterday and...oh my god! its bad. The good news is that graduation is still within reach. The bad news is the number of subjects I have to study in 7 weeks.

I'm going to be down-to-earth honest here. I don't know how not to study last minute. I say the same thing every beginning of the semester that I'm going to change and will not do last minute work again. Time and time again, I did the same thing.

So this is my last chance. If I were to graduate this year, I must pass all my remaining subjects. And it is going to be tough.

My Sem Break Pass Time

2009-02-22T21:29:00.002+08:00

Yes,like some of you may have expected I have been playing lots of Left 4 Dead lately. I enjoy playing it and I'm quite addicted to it.

It is probably the most exciting game at the moment but I doubt it will replace major first-person shooters like Counter-Strike or the still very popular DOTA.

Some of you may have tried out this game and I'm sure you all had fun playing it. As for those who haven't tried it, do try it.

There are few things that I find funny in this game. In the movies,zombies usually bites people at their neck and the victim will also become.... a freak. BUT,in this game,the zombies will just hit you to death instead.

For those who already played this game a few times,I really don't need to introduce any thing to you. But for those who are just beginners, I have a few tips for you. Starting off with tip number 1

1. Sit together. You need to be communicating. Typing doesn't do much help so pick the best time where you can get 4 seats in a row.

2. Make noise when you get pinned down by a hunter/smoker. If you don't,you'll probably die. Only when you face a witch/tank your team mates will know.

3. Sniper/Hunting rifle sucks. I thought it is good to get a few more killers as it can shoot in long ranges but most of the time, it is........... rubbish.

4. Take the M16. Why?Its less jerky than the sub-machine gun.Its good in long range shooting and also good when fighting the horde.Best of all,you can reload while shoving zombies unlike shotguns.

5. Clear the path and keep moving. You don't have to kill every single zombies,all you have to do is get to the safe room/rescue. The longer you stay,the more trouble you'll face.

6. Stay close. As close as possible. That way you can cover and get covered by your team mates easily. Don't worry about boomers, they are not as big of a trouble as their size.

7. Burn the witch/tank. Both of them are very deadly special infected. The witch is quick,and sometimes, you got to go kill her on your way. Like when you shoot a tank,you can save some ammo as the fire will help you to kill them.

8. When attacked by a tank,RUN !. You are not going to bring him down with your 1st clip of 50 rounds. So retreat and keep shooting !

9. DO NOT be a Rambo.Because when you are alone,whether its at the front or the back of the pack, you are easy targets for hunters and smokers.

10. Get to the rescue when it comes.That is what matters most, even if you are the top killer of zombies,you can still have your name in the 'in the memory of' list.

So there you have it. Good luck playing the game. It is new and exciting but so far there are only 4 campaigns and that is really not enough.I wonder if L4D is really being left for dead.

I'm going to try out expert level and versus mode some time next week.

Who wants in?

Valentines Day Plan

2009-02-05T22:15:00.011+08:00

NO, the plan is actually for my parents, not me.

I noticed my parents are not having a great time together.

They are not like those young love birds they used to be any more. Even if the 'pak toh' thing may be a bit boring after so many years together. I guess its just one of those low points of marriage life. Where continuous arguments occur,etc as some of you have experienced before.

So, instead of budgeting for the last 3 months, and 'invest' altogether with my ang pow money(like some of my friends will do)on the 14th, I plan to spark the flame for them that is lost for a while.

I'm not asking for counseling on how to fix marriage problems here. I'm hoping for some of you readers out there to give me some ideas on how to carry out my plan.

I'll probably buy something on behalf of my dad. Let's say flowers.(but he got to pay for it lah !)

So here are some of the things that cannot be bought for mommy for valentines day purpose.

-Chocolates. My mother doesn't really like them.
-Cute stuffs. She is too matured for those.
-Ice Cream. It makes her fat. Not just her,it can make everybody fat !
-Any thing that is too expensive. Jewelries will by ridiculously over-priced.

That is all I think. If you are kind enough to help me with this, drop a comment or tell me personally. May you and your significant one have a wonderful valentines.

How nice if they can end up like this...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR !

2009-01-24T13:38:00.004+08:00

Wishing everybody a happy Chinese new year.

No photos for this post yet. Maybe I'll upload some after visiting my grandma's place.

Exam has not been good. Especially my resit papers. I'll have plenty to more to do than others next semester.

But for now, let's take a break from our busy lives and celebrate this once in a year event.

Just make sure no kids have their limps blown off by fireworks.

Wishing you

One Road Smooth Wind,
Year Year Got Fish,
Dragon Horse Sperm God,
Gong Xi Fa Cai !!!

Yes,I Can !

2009-01-18T17:45:00.005+08:00

Tomorrow will be the beginning of MY semester exam and an end to the semester. For those who have spend the 14 weeks preparing for this moment, they will have little to be worried of.

But for most people, who don't have the motivation to prepare from early and rather spend time playing games,checking out chicks on the net,~~trying to get laid~~ and enjoying college life...bla bla bla Last minute work is the way to go ! and you'll have plenty to be worried of.
In my case, I have 2 papers tomorrow. One tough main paper and a resit paper. With approximately 15 hours left to go, reading and memorizing the 170 page book, prepare for resit subject from A to Z and get a pass out of the two subject. YES, I can !

After tomorrow's paper I'll have about 40 hours left to prepare for another main paper.Some say it's madness but I think I can get at least a pass out of it.YES, I think I can !

After that, I'll have 3 days to prepare for a resit accounts paper which I haven't done any preparation at all. This will be tough but I'll seek help and try my best to...

pass. Yes, I believe I can !

To all fellow TARCians, best of luck to all of you. Let's make the most of your remaining time and do well in your exams. It may seem impossible but through hard work, we can all pass with flying colors. YES WE CAN !

Lastly, when I'm feeling the stress, when everybody is studying and with time running out,I still can find time to get myself motivated by writing this post. YES,I CAN !

Talking And Listening

2009-01-06T19:22:00.008+08:00

This afternoon I got 'talked at' when I'm not trying to listen and then I got wondering and wrote this post.

This is the question:if I'm being rude for not listening when people speak to me,is a person rude when he speaks to me when I'm not listening?

In other words, when I'm busy on something else and somebody distracts me by talking to me, is he/she being rude?

You see, I agree that when people are talking to you and you ignore, that's not polite. I admit sometimes I tend to pay more attention to the football match when I'm supposed to be listening.

But then, if its the other way around, I think it is as impolite.

I'm sure some of you have had a bad time watching football when someone sits beside you and talk,talk,and talk like he is John Dykes in an ESPN talk show. YOU know who I'm talking about. It is very,very annoying. Really.

What Is A New Year To You?

2009-01-04T11:42:00.008+08:00

I saw a friend's personal message on msn saying 'new year means nothing to me'.And I'm sure the same goes to a few of my house mates which is why I almost missed New Year's once in a year atmosphere,fireworks,feeling,etc.

They rather spend time doing things like: Let's play and win our last DOTA game of the year ! and moments later, they are trying to win their 1st DOTA game of the year.Until they forgot to go new year's countdown. =.=" They say its fun but what a waste.

The annual January 1st New Year is arguably the most anticipated event in Malaysia. Christmas are mainly for Christians and for some apparently non-Christians to get themselves merry arrested at Gurney Drive.Chinese New Year are mainly for Chinese and for some kids to have their limps blown off. Whereas New Year is an event for everybody and for more people to get arrested.
To some however it is different.
To some people it is just another public holiday,
some just wants the atmosphere and see the fireworks,(People like me)
some think it is a must to party on every 1st of January,
some see it as a time to make money,
some wants a gang bang,
and of course, some people just don't give a damn.

To me, new year means a fresh start to another year of life. It is the time I make new year's resolutions and to learn and not make past mistakes in order to improve myself to be better than last year.

Screaming 'HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!' and watching the fire works means starting a new year with happiness and a smile. My new year's eve was almost ruined. Luckily I found an alternative and ended up celebrating on a beach.

I hope you too had a good time and a great start to year 2009.

A look at year 2009

2009-01-02T00:04:00.006+08:00

I will be 21 years old this year. Will be graduating from college and then further my studies at KL(most probably). It will be quite sad to leave my home town,to leave beloved Penang but who knows, KL might be better in another way.

But before I do that, I have made a few new year's resolution. Some say it is pointless because people barely achieve any of it by the end of the year. I want to prove them wrong.

1.Get organized. Need to be more disciplined in order to making better plans for things. Self-improvement resolution.

2.Graduate. I need to pass all my papers before I even think about going to KL.

3.Think. As in think more. I notice I'm underutilizing my brain.After all, our brains work on a 'use it or loose it' basis.

4.Birthday party. Yes,previous 2 birthday have been crap. I'll be 21 this year and am planning to throw a 'partey'~~~!

5.Learn how to cook a few new dish. Hopefully I can finally achieve this one.

6.Be physically fit. Didn't achieve the target I wanted last year. Will try harder.
Not as fit as Bruce Lee lah... siao meh?
7.Start saving money. Spending every cent of my part time job salary is just not the right way.

8.Do well in my studies. Its going to be tough to change but it can be done.

9.Go for a holiday with my family. Its been quite a while since we did that.

10.Be happier than I was in 2008.

That's 10 for me. How about you? I have yours. Hope 2009 will be better than 2008.

A Look Back At Year 2008

2008-12-31T15:17:00.007+08:00

*note: these are all just my own life experience and this post is not meant to lecture any body on how to handle their life*

2008 has been a year of many learning experiences.

It is the year that I have gone through quite a lot of highs and lows,success and failures.

So much has happened, so much has changed. Of course,not every changes in life are positive but then,on a positive note,all these happenings have taught me a great deal in life.

Among the many lessons that I've learned are:

'Never put all eggs in one basket'. Because Life is too risky.
Never be too nice. Because most people will just take advantage of you.
What used to be easy today can be very tough tomorrow. Yes,I found out how tough life can be.
People are constantly changing. Today one may be your best friend, tomorrow the one can be your enemy.
Learn from mistakes. DO NOT make the same mistake twice.
Be patient. A short moment of madness can cause long term damage.
Be aware of people's intentions. Some people say I should do this and that for my own good. naa... Now I know. You are just trying to get me to do it for you.
Thoughts determine what you want but action determine what you get. Hell yeah !

there are many more of course. These are just a few that came across my mind.

2008 has not been great frankly. Yes, I had wonderful moments with my family and friends. Thanks for being there when I need support. To those that I disappointed,hurted,~~raped~~, or any wrong doings that I did to you, I AM SORRY.

Okay, now lets have a look back at my 2008 new year's resolutions.
1. Study hard, get good result. I get better result than 2007 but not good enough.
2. Read more books, got nowhere near.
3. Learn to make tosai, FAIL. But I did learn to cook some other stuff.
4. Help my dad reduce his blood pressure. FAIL
5. Rely less on my parents financially. hmm... I did OK until end of the year.
6. Sleep and wake up every weekday. FAIL.
7. Turn into The Rock. half FAIL. Disorganized workouts means less result
.
8. Win a gold medal. Won to silver instead.
9. Try a fancy hairstyle. FAIL. I didn't even try ! haha.

BEFORE THE SUN SETS ON 2008,
BEFORE THE MEMORY FADES,
BEFORE THE PARTY STARTS,
BEFORE THE COUNT DOWN BEGINS,
BEFORE I GET DRUNK AND LOOSE CONTROL,
BEFORE ANY THING HAPPEN I, Donovan Tan, administrator of his blog...

Would like to wish every one of you a very HAPPY & PROSPEROUS 2009 !!!