Finally I found the words for the title of this post after chatting with my buddyScorpheuzand thinking hard with my stressed out mind.
This post is not a personal attack on any body.It is about the cultural differences between me and some of my classmate that is beginning to be more and more evident.
After speaking with one of my classmate today and she asked me 'why you like to criticize other people one???' that line of hers made me write this blog post and I welcome the people I'm talking about to read and comment this.
What really triggered her off to say that was my question about her group's company name which is 'De Tour'.(oh ya, congrats on the 2nd place.well done)The conversation goes something like this.
DS: I thought DE tour means OF tour in french?
??: I dont know ar... they want a word which sounds like THE kua...
DS: But you group member who is presenting in front said they wanted to make it sound french.
??: I dont know lah
DS: (i wrote in a piece of paper) If Le Tour De Langkawi means The Tour Of Langkawi,then De Tour means OF tour not THE tour.
??: I dont know lah ! Why you like to criticize people one?
Dear readers,am I criticizing or just questioning?To me that's pure questioning.You might disagree becaus of our...
CULTURAL DIFFERENCES
Besides that I also gave her a bad impression after this recent conversation with her.
*after her group's english presentation*
DS: hey, I think you all should be standing together as a team for the Q&A after the presentation.
??: nvm one lah, what's over is over.
DS: I know. I say it for future presentations. You don't just let those who presented last take all the questions (like what my group members did to me).
??: aiya... nothing one lah ! That time you alone can answer all the questions already ma.
DS: *I got question 2 wrong although it sounded right* but being left alone by.... aiyah ! nvm. zzz
and today we continued this conversation.
DS: did what I say about the english presentation have any thing to do with this?
??: your group presentation are very good ar, very smooth.
DS: I know,but leaving a group member for the Q&A is wrong!
??: aiyoh ! you all did well la,I dont understand why you all did so good and still you can complain.
As a footballer myself I know how important is it for all team members to click in order to achieve something. A captain/team leader must also inspire the team and make sure that everybody does their work.As a team, together we stand,divided we fall. That is my philosophy.
If you have watched The Apprentice on TV, you would have noticed that many project managers/group leaders have been fired for not bring out the best out of their group members.The same applies in real life.
my dear classmate name ??, and my english group members,maybe you disagree but do understand that we all have our difference opinion mainly because of our...
CULTURAL DIFFERENCES so try not to take things personal IF YOU DO
With different culture comes different thinking and different opinions.So,maybe I should just shut up for the moment and try to adapt to these DIFFERENCES that is becoming more evident.
And to those who are unhappy with what I did/said you can always come talk to me face to face. I hate to make matters personal. But unfortunately because of these CULTURAL DIFFERENCES 'THEY' will just continue with their way of doing things.Back stabbing...
22 comments:
Dear SLIM guy, since u r so good at ur own so called football philosopy...then hw come u can left ur teammates done all the web design jobs while u r so easy on that n while ur ex-biz game teammates busy discussing n learning things n do u also stick with them as well??? come on lar brother, u have breached ur own philosopy la.. u dun have the right to say anything about ur frens.. IS TAT MAKE U UNDERSTOOD???
oops.. sorry i missed out one thing. As u said in ur damn Apprentice example, do u think tat u suit the person tat is being fired by the Trump coz the person didn't done his job properly as a team member??? The fired person can view the blogs and go to the Youtube while the teammates were rushing for the web design assignment.. I think may b is the CULTURAL DIFFERNCES lo.. do u agree with tat??? The person can still saying tat is other people who is making false statement about him although we r only sharing our feelings about tat person.. does tis also counted as back stabbing?? if yes ar, then i can see many people lying on the street because of back stabbing lo.. may b u think tat the statement suits u and u take it with u all along?? think about urself before u made any unfair statement about ur classmate.. IS TAT MAKE U UNDERSTOOD AGAIN???
lema...blogger.com should have grammer correction software before allowing people to post their comments. took me a while to read and read again to understand.
Jz like how u mentioned in ur post...cultural differences..i duno wat really happened between u guys but there's gotta be some misunderstanding somewhere.
Anyway, TARC sucks.
PS: Don't post as anonymous. HAve some guts and put ur blogger ID or ur real name there. Anonymous means ur someone people don't know or don't care, so people won't care about ur views
ish..wrong spelling..at least i realize...its GRAMMAR, not GRAMMER
DEAR scorpheuz.. come on lar... do the SLIM guy also got any guts to mention out who are those people that he would like to speak to???? THINK CLEARLY before you say anything please.... OMG...
Before i start...i would like to say that TARC are better than someone called himself/herself scorpion or mosquito(whatever)...cause now he is back stabbing TARC...lol...
anyway, it is not the main topic...
MAIN TOPIC
Well, DEAR so called SLIM guy, I think you didnt have a through knowledge of yourself. Why i've said like that, because as what you've said in the APPRENTICE it is no use that only the leader bring out the best of the team and the member do nothing. You're not a doll or Robot right? Being part of the team, you should have a clear objectives or views that you should do something instead of doing the thing out of the project or assignment. CULTURE DIFFERENT #1.
Secondly, my back stabbing philosophy...you are performing back stabbing to your classmates because you are mentioning your classmates back stabbing you...CULTURE DIFFERENT #2.
As a conclusion, human is an unique creature, ones' got their own CULTURE and it is depend on whether ones' can accept it or not...CLEARLY, what you've done was not accepted by your classmates nor your teammates. CULTURE DIFFERENT #3.
And it was cleared that someone are personalized this matter which he keep on saying that someone are personalized this matter...JUDGE BY YOUR OWN...
TARC ROCKS...SOMEONE OUT THERE CRITICIZE TARC SUCKS...THE MOSQUITO...
The Following comment are base on personal opinion...and it was what blogging about....
AGAIN...TARC ROCKS!!
Before i start...i would like to say that TARC are better than someone called himself/herself scorpion or mosquito(whatever)...cause now he is back stabbing TARC...lol...
anyway, it is not the main topic...
MAIN TOPIC
Well, DEAR so called SLIM guy, I think you didnt have a through knowledge of yourself. Why i've said like that, because as what you've said in the APPRENTICE it is no use that only the leader bring out the best of the team and the member do nothing. You're not a doll or Robot right? Being part of the team, you should have a clear objectives or views that you should do something instead of doing the thing out of the project or assignment. CULTURE DIFFERENT #1.
Secondly, my back stabbing philosophy...you are performing back stabbing to your classmates because you are mentioning your classmates back stabbing you...CULTURE DIFFERENT #2
As a conclusion, human is an unique creature, ones' got their own CULTURE and it is depend on whether ones' can accept it or not...CLEARLY, what you've done was not accepted by your classmates nor your teammates. CULTURE DIFFERENT #3.
And it was cleared that someone are personalized this matter which he keep on saying that someone are personalized this matter...JUDGE BY YOUR OWN...
TARC ROCKS...SOMEONE OUT THERE CRITICIZE TARC SUCKS...THE MOSQUITO...
The Following comment are base on personal opinion...and it was what blogging about....
AGAIN...TARC ROCKS!!
Hmm.... Well, i have nothing to said IF u jz keep highlighting the things you MIND in your MIND... So my advices to you about the truth all are dust... Nvm, keep going as the worst that what i see... =_=
Haha... Btw, I became popular alrdy... THX THX THX!! XD
送你最后的几句话，有空想想：
良药苦口也，忠言逆耳也。
丑闻往外传，谁是祸首也？
有什么事跟我这当事人说就可以了，你想往外传的话，我也不介意的。只不过，在别人的眼里，谁会是坏人呢？让旁观者决定吧！
scorpheuz仔啊！别说没人劝你，不喜欢拉曼的话，你可以转校的。别说我无礼，我本身就是这么直率。你说 "TARC SUCK" 的这句话，就好像跟妈妈住同家，但却说妈妈不好；吃粗米，但却说粗米难吃。
别忘了，妈妈为什么会骂你呢？因为你不乖，不听话，也为你好；
粗米不好吃，因为粗茶淡饭对身体好。不信的话，你试试长年累月吃炸鸡吧！不用我说，你也知道后果。
也许拉曼failed你一些科目，或太多的assignment令你吃不消，但想想，为什么给你们这么多的麻烦呢？就是为了让你们吸取经验嘛！
我想我说了会令你们生气的话，不过还是一句话：
良药苦口，忠言逆耳。
*-鞠躬告退-*
Glad that u love ur college. Gratz. As i've said, it could be a misunderstanding. I didn't mention who was right and who was wrong...
ur right about having the freedom of speech. agree with u there. don't have to go on and be sarcastic and all that.
Btw, saying TARC sucks doesn't imply i'm backstabbing TARC. Just to clarify here..
If u guys think SLIM has a problem or attitude style which he should change, maybe a suggestion or talk to him would be nice right? u guys are adults, just talk it out. maybe it's good u guys are speaking it out here too. but don't be too harsh ok. don't lay personal attacks, please. if u dont like what slim posts here, maybe u could jz talk to him about it? relax k?
wats with the mosquito thingy.zzz
so scorpheuz... now u know that how is our feeling by being said as backstabbing.. hope u can realise that.. As also being said as defamation..
no no, anonymous...the whole point is nobody is backstabbing each other..im pretty sure its jz misunderstanding...
i know slim long enuf. he is stubborn yes. but he's not a bad guy. read his latest post. he suggested to talk it out wit u guys. maybe u shud jz talk it out with him ok? u guys are classmates i bliv. if u dun like his post, ask him to take it off. work things out ok? im not siding anyone, but slim is my fren, and i know for a fact he don't mean anything malicious by this post. relax.
scorpheuz izzit?
i dun thk he is a nice or gd person,he jz noe hw to shoot ppl and say sthg queasiness only.
do u noe tat,he jz noe hw to tell a lie,wat he is saying is not wat he is doing!!!
he jz noe hw to sthg bad about other ppl and dunno hw to reflect on himself.
scorpheuz izzit?
i dun thk he is a nice or gd person,he jz noe hw to shoot ppl and say sthg queasiness only.
do u noe tat,he jz noe hw to tell a lie,wat he is saying is not wat he is doing!!!
he jz noe hw to sthg bad about other ppl and dunno hw to reflect on himself.
as a classmates or friend, i suppose you shud jz tel him wat ur unhappy about him okay? cut him some slack. gv him a chance. jz talk to him about it ok? since i think he is ready to open up and listen to u guys. try not to make things so complicated..don't have so much anger and hate in ur post. cool down and jz talk to him personally. k? im an outsider in this matter, so im jz offering my opinion to solve this matter amicably, because i'm afraid due to ur anger u might have lost some cool judgement and words, which u might, and might not really mean it. okay? ^^
也许我应该自我检讨，为什么我当天多数所说的重点都不在了。老实说，当我看了 cultural differences, 感觉跟当天版本都不一样，虽然我不太记得我曾经说过什么，但我的回答，不只是这短短的这几句。
现在，“私地下的对话” 已经不再私人化了，整体来说，这一贴已经变成是网上娱乐了,很明显的娱乐。不过也好，第一次台词被刊登，我也乐在其中，也难怪会感觉自己红，感觉有点不好意思呢。
误会？我想没有，当天的一切是面对面说的，没误会，我想，就算再面对面说起，也只有那几句 “无聊的诗” 罢了。也许问题出在别的地方了，至于哪里，我懒得去想了。
还有，“恭喜，你是爱拉曼” 这句客套话，请省下来，对我而言，一个说拉曼 suck 的人反过来恭喜别人爱拉曼是很废话，很矛盾。scourpheuz,也许你应该学习知足，别老是批东披西，说到一大堆的不满言语也只会损你自己的名誉。试着学习对你有好处。我就是这么直率，如果我们是认识的，也许你会说我说话一针见血。
还有，无名氏（们),你们的不满和火气也未免太浓烈了？虽然我不太懂你们说什么冬冬的，过去就让他过去吧！
失礼了。
Oh yeah??? Izzit really true that he would really want to open up up and talk about this matter?? Coz for today, we jz waiting for him to say out something, but the fact is he didn't.. As a result, WHAT THE SLIM SAY AND DO IS JZ TOTALLY DIFFERENT!!!
Which make us really don't know what he really want actually..Perhaps he will say ABC in front of you, then he would tell XYZ to the other people..
WHY YOU STILL NOT MAKE YOURSELF UINDERSTOOD？？？ you want me to teach you izzit?????
*after her group's english presentation*
DS: hey, I think you all should be standing together as a team for the Q&A after the presentation.
??: It maybe nvm la, i think your group present well as i see and lecturer also didn't say any bads. the "biao mian gong fu" can choose to do or not to do one.
DS: I know. I say it for future presentations. You don't just let those who presented last take all the questions (like what my group members did to me).
??: Still ok la, if u plan all want to stay together as them(the group who presenting), try to tell earlier and work together. But that time you alone can answer all the questions ma.
DS: *I got question 2 wrong although it sounded right* but being left alone by.... aiyah ! nvm. zzz
??: If next time u guys say earlier and make it works internally la.
...and today we continued this conversation.
DS: did what I say about the english presentation have any thing to do with this?
??: your group presentation are very good ar, very smooth.
DS: I know,but leaving a group member for the Q&A is wrong! Suppose all should stand together and answer the question like them(cher hong team gua?)
??: aiyoh ! wat i see you all did well la, but I dont understand why you all did so good and still you can complain.
Tat time, ?? was busy to copy down the notes of BC.
DS: Do u know about french?
??: Nope, i dono.
DS: I thought DE tour means OF tour in french?
??: I dont know ar... they want a word "de" which sounds like "THE" kua...
DS: But your group member who is presenting in front(means Jo Lynn?) said they wanted to make it sound french.
??: I dont know wor, jz a name, it's depends on team favour on...
DS: (wrote in a piece of paper) If Le Tour De Langkawi means The Tour Of Langkawi,then De Tour means OF tour not THE tour.
??: I dont know french so i not so care wat is the meaning behind about it.
DS: （repeat again by using pen to point)But let says la, If Le Tour De Langkawi means The Tour Of Langkawi,then De Tour means OF tour not THE tour. Then u suppose to put LeTour not DeTour alrdy.
??: Why you so like to criticize people one?
after while, we talk again..
DS: I ask you la, wat makes you feel tat i like to critical ppl?
??: u don mind i talk straight to u? maybe you should talk to the leader, bcoz i feel tat the Detour is ok for me. Besides, if u didnt, ppl will feel u r talking bad things behind ppl. U understand wat i meanning now?
DS: Is also wat i told about "*******" ? (paiseh, i dowan to expose too many things)
??: Tat time u make me shock when u talking about this u know... u suddenly turn ur head to me talk about this when lecturer is teaching and im concerntrating.
DS: Those all your thought on me (why u so like to critizing ppl) coz it is your own oppinion or somebody back stabbing?
??: Back stabbing? =.=;; Who is back stabbing on you? Now, i tell u, dont ever to talk the negative/bads again, like "*****" issue, u also talk to him straightly is better la... If not like u suddenly turn ur head say "******" issue seems like talking bads lo... No matter who is, either group or individual, try to tell him personally, dont spread it coz it's not nice to spread out the bad n let others know.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
If not mistaken, all sequence is like tat de... Personally wat i able recalled is like tat la.
I hope u wont take wat I'm about to write personally. I'm not trying to be sarcastic or whatsoever.. Just wana make things clear about the misunderstandings. first of all, thanks for ur comments in ur blog regarding the de tour matter. u know, it's undeniably my personal mistake for not making it clear wat it really means before blurting out the fact that we wana make the word 'de'tour' appear more classy by saying that we wana make it more 'french'. the fact is, i was very nervous when i'm presenting so i don reli have any idea wat i'm talking about. i was just speaking out wat cames to my mind at that particular moment. but anyway, wat's past is past, since i've already clarify the reason why i make this kind of mistake, i hope there wont be any further argument & misunderstanding regarding this matter. and if u don mind, i would like to include sum of my personal opinions here.. i think that wat reli causes all the rages lies within the misunderstandings among ur group members & u. It's probably due to the accumulated misunderstandings that is not made clear in the past. it takes both hands to clap so i think u have to take responsibilities for ur own mistakes too. u chose to believe that all this misunderstanding is due to the cultural differences but refused to believe that part of the misunderstanding is due to ur own fault, agree? if there's only 1 person who is unable to 'click' with u, it could be that particular person's problem. but just think about it, u're unable to 'click' with all of us, is that our problem or is it urs? do not relate ur own mistakes with us.. u din carry out ur own responsibilities properly (assignments) so u cant blame them for being angry with u. u cant just expect ur team members to always urge u to do ur part, u as a member of ur team shud take the initiative move to offer to do the work .(anyway it's ur team's business, it has nth to do with me. & again, it's jz my personal opinion)just think about it properly & what's the main reason that trigger all these? n about ur habit of criticizing the people around u, u mite not realize that u're actually criticizing that particular person when u're simply just "giving ur opinion". i'm not saying that u cant give ur personal opinion but the words u chose n the tone u speak will cause others to think that u're actually criticizing them & offended them at the same time. so i think u guys deserve a proper talk to sort out all these misunderstandings n last but not least (no offense) think before u talk.
im sorry i said TARC sucks XD
sorry sorry sorry!
no harm or intention meant.
but there are many aspects which we should fix at TARC. Problem is nobody is committed lah i think.
Slim to be truthfully sometimes u juz can ignore them. although i duno wad happen. sometimes ppl are so "jin kak" want to find fault eh... especially ah bengs... their mentality sometimes is too complicated to see simple stuff and preferably to see it complicated. as suggestion i think if u can work it out then is good if not juz ignore them. u will survive w/o them. backstabbing is part of life though so deal wif it. u can see alot when u work in corporate. this kind of issue is small mater onli...
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