It is when you are in trouble that you find out who are the people who really care for you. Many people will come to you when you have something to give but few will stay after you have nothing left to offer.
No one has ever cared for me more than my parents. Despite failing to live up to their expectations they have always been there for me when times are bad. When I suffered a torn ligament recently my parents came all the way to Kampar and fetched me back home and then back here again for my MUET. This is just one of the endless list of things that they have done for me and still continue to do for me without asking any thing back.
No one has ever done such thing for me before and I doubt there will ever be one. I'm indebted to them in such a way that I can never pay them back.
They are not perfect. They don't always find the right words or methods to solve a problem. But their intention is never in doubt and every time I think about this it makes me feel sad.
Because I have been rude to them in the past, I have done so little to make them proud, I was too selfish to only look after my own interest and not theirs. I have not been a good son to them.
I can never give them back what they have given me. But now I am determined to make up for it as much as I can. I want them to know that the sacrifices they made for me have been worth it.
Showing posts with label Journal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Journal. Show all posts
Friday, March 30, 2012
Monday, October 4, 2010
I Got A Problem Without Its Solution
The current relationship between me and my dad isn't good at all.
This blog is sometimes a place for me to let it out when I'm not happy with certain things and as for this issue, its not the first time.
I remember last time it was fine. But now that I've grown up and he is getting a bit older, things have changed. In a bad way.
We can have arguments every single day. There are lots and lots of things we disagree mainly how each other thinks. I don't know where it all started to go wrong.
As far as I want to listen to my own biological father who brought me up, he lost the credibility in me.
I heard about a few complains about me raising my voice over petty issues and being rebellious. Yes, he is my dad and he forever will but these wrong actions reflect just how frustrated I am at times.
I'm not just frustrated about what happens outside but also towards him. Talking to him is like talking to a deaf man. And when I point out where he is doing things wrongly he does the same thing back to me. He will mention about me failing exam and stuff.
And to make matters worse, when he started finding fault first, I'll do the same back to him. Things can get ugly. One father and son conversation could turn into some kind of EPL derby.
We take turns to point finger at each other so often it almost defined the word 'counter-attack'.
Some have told to be have patience when dealing with an elder person but I really don't know how to do so.
I hate to make my parents upset. I really don't like any bit of it. What goes around comes around. I thought about it and I don't want my children to be doing this to me next time.
Seriously, I don't see an end to this issue as for now. Because I really don't know how to solve this. I am trying to control my emotions and I think I managed to do that but its not enough. I even had thoughts about moving out.
HELP?
This blog is sometimes a place for me to let it out when I'm not happy with certain things and as for this issue, its not the first time.
I remember last time it was fine. But now that I've grown up and he is getting a bit older, things have changed. In a bad way.
We can have arguments every single day. There are lots and lots of things we disagree mainly how each other thinks. I don't know where it all started to go wrong.
As far as I want to listen to my own biological father who brought me up, he lost the credibility in me.I heard about a few complains about me raising my voice over petty issues and being rebellious. Yes, he is my dad and he forever will but these wrong actions reflect just how frustrated I am at times.
I'm not just frustrated about what happens outside but also towards him. Talking to him is like talking to a deaf man. And when I point out where he is doing things wrongly he does the same thing back to me. He will mention about me failing exam and stuff.
And to make matters worse, when he started finding fault first, I'll do the same back to him. Things can get ugly. One father and son conversation could turn into some kind of EPL derby.
We take turns to point finger at each other so often it almost defined the word 'counter-attack'.Some have told to be have patience when dealing with an elder person but I really don't know how to do so.
I hate to make my parents upset. I really don't like any bit of it. What goes around comes around. I thought about it and I don't want my children to be doing this to me next time.
Seriously, I don't see an end to this issue as for now. Because I really don't know how to solve this. I am trying to control my emotions and I think I managed to do that but its not enough. I even had thoughts about moving out.
HELP?
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Friendship Ruined
I might have just lost two of my close friends. With them I've gone through so much with, mostly good times and now it seems those good times are behind us and may not never be again,sadly.
Initially I was worried for both of them. They stopped talking to each other for while. Because both had their own reasons for their actions over an incident and I advised one of them,A, to do the explanation calmly and clearly to E to avoid any unwanted outcome. I feared for their miscommunication but I had leave them to it.
Many weeks have passed, and suddenly, not knowing what was said between them, both pointed fingers at me. Not only that, both tried very hard to find every little fault I've did wrong to them. To make matters worse, instead of confronting me for whatever it is that I'm accused of doing, I was left clueless and stunned by the sudden change of attitude of both toward me.
Disappointed and angered after I found out that both were digging deep and hard to make me look as evil as possible, I still have to hold my nerves and not react wrongly to give the friendship a chance.
Talking about somebody behind their backs is rarely something neutral. You either highlight the good or bad. And as humans, it is very normal for an enraged person to have a rant about whoever it is he/she thinks is wrong.
While I have to admit some of my faults that are said between them are true, what I did was also something they have done before at some point. I was not even given a chance to speak for myself after I'm being accused.
As for now I don't want to do what they did to me because that will make me same as them. I can only try to solve it in another way.
Everybody have their good and dark side. IF all we are looking for is other people's fault then everybody will look wrong.
Initially I was worried for both of them. They stopped talking to each other for while. Because both had their own reasons for their actions over an incident and I advised one of them,A, to do the explanation calmly and clearly to E to avoid any unwanted outcome. I feared for their miscommunication but I had leave them to it.
Many weeks have passed, and suddenly, not knowing what was said between them, both pointed fingers at me. Not only that, both tried very hard to find every little fault I've did wrong to them. To make matters worse, instead of confronting me for whatever it is that I'm accused of doing, I was left clueless and stunned by the sudden change of attitude of both toward me.
Disappointed and angered after I found out that both were digging deep and hard to make me look as evil as possible, I still have to hold my nerves and not react wrongly to give the friendship a chance.
Talking about somebody behind their backs is rarely something neutral. You either highlight the good or bad. And as humans, it is very normal for an enraged person to have a rant about whoever it is he/she thinks is wrong.
While I have to admit some of my faults that are said between them are true, what I did was also something they have done before at some point. I was not even given a chance to speak for myself after I'm being accused.
As for now I don't want to do what they did to me because that will make me same as them. I can only try to solve it in another way.
Everybody have their good and dark side. IF all we are looking for is other people's fault then everybody will look wrong.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Happy Off Day
Somehow during my 2 years studying at PG TARC which located in Tg.Bunggah, I've never fully explored Batu Ferrigghi. It is a famous tourism spot in Penang. Many people have told me about the beach and Sunset Bistro.
I've always enjoyed vacations at the beach
Yesterday,Wednesday which is my off-duty day, I went over to see what's what. A big thanks to Su Ping for being kind enough to provide transportation. And also special thanks to Wei Chang,a guy from Ipoh who came to Penang for a vacation because if he had not come, we wouldn't bother to go all the way there.
I have to say it is the best off day I've ever had so far! Much better than the Kampar trip for 2 reasons.
First, there is a beach and of course, a beautiful scenery plus the bikini babes and animals you can't see in town.
Second, traveling is less tiring and takes less time to reach. Its in Penang !
The only thing I didn't quite like is the rough sand and the weather. Which was very warm.
But you wouldn't be so bothered if you are on the parachute being dragged by a boat or just enjoying water sports.
And as you would expect, you have to pay a bit extra for a tourism hot spot. For the short 5 minute flying-without-wings experience costs you *170bucks. RM120 for a 35mins jet skiing in a 2 seater.
Even my iced peach juice costs RM4.90
I'm not whining about what I paid, I'm just trying to bring up some awareness.
I don't know about prices of banana boat ride, 4-seat-in-a-row water drifting,"horse riding", and literally horse riding.
I abosolutely loved my trip there and I'm thinking about visiting Batu Ferringhi again soon. Who wants in?
Opening an invitation for all ! 'mai kong wa bo chio hor'
Yesterday,Wednesday which is my off-duty day, I went over to see what's what. A big thanks to Su Ping for being kind enough to provide transportation. And also special thanks to Wei Chang,a guy from Ipoh who came to Penang for a vacation because if he had not come, we wouldn't bother to go all the way there.
I have to say it is the best off day I've ever had so far! Much better than the Kampar trip for 2 reasons.
First, there is a beach and of course, a beautiful scenery plus the bikini babes and animals you can't see in town.
Second, traveling is less tiring and takes less time to reach. Its in Penang !
The only thing I didn't quite like is the rough sand and the weather. Which was very warm.
But you wouldn't be so bothered if you are on the parachute being dragged by a boat or just enjoying water sports.
And as you would expect, you have to pay a bit extra for a tourism hot spot. For the short 5 minute flying-without-wings experience costs you *170bucks. RM120 for a 35mins jet skiing in a 2 seater.
I'm not whining about what I paid, I'm just trying to bring up some awareness.
I don't know about prices of banana boat ride, 4-seat-in-a-row water drifting,"horse riding", and literally horse riding.
I abosolutely loved my trip there and I'm thinking about visiting Batu Ferringhi again soon. Who wants in?
Opening an invitation for all ! 'mai kong wa bo chio hor'
Monday, June 22, 2009
Kampar Road Trip
Having thought about going to Kampar for some time, finally this time it happened. Much thanks to Kev for offering a ride, I had the chance to see what's what.The surroundings, the food, the lake, the campus and the random accident spot.
So here is what I found out.
Distance from home
It is quite far away. Over 140km from the nearest Juru toll to Gopeng exit. It took us about 2 hours to get there.
Without any music one might fall asleep on the wheel.
So you might as well drive fast and try stay awake.
Light after darkness in the tunnel
Surrounding Houses
There are quite a lot of houses there. From single story to 3 storey houses. There is still some distance from the nearest house to the campus.Although the scenery on the way can be rather enjoyable to watch but...
I bet those going to classes won't enjoy their ride much under the extremely warm weather.
The Campus
In terms of size, it is HUGE. The biggest Private University maybe. But that is what I have expected to see. Big campus, lots of students. What I didn't expect though, was this.
Should I call it bicycle town?
Unfortunately I didn't have any wide lens with me or else I could have shown you a better picture of UTAR's very own, CHINA.
The food
Had only one meal there somewhere near that Island Red cafe. I had economy rice, the price,the taste is acceptable.
The entertainment
Nothing much really. So I'll start off with what is lacking in Kampar
But luckily, it is still some places to hang out with friends
Cyber Cafes, mamak shop,Tesco and there is Ipoh if you don't mind travelling.
Entertainment wise Kampar is no match for Penang.
Friends
I do know a few people studying here. So I shouldn't feel too lonely at my 1st few weeks there.And I'm sorry that I didn't call any of them out because it was a quick in-and-out,straight to the point visit.
Course Duration
The duration depends on how I arrange the number of subjects according the the minimum/maximum credit hour.
The number of papers exempted on the other hand, depends on the lecturer and the FUCKculty. Yes. I was told its called the FUCKculty.
Conclusion
UTAR Kampar seems to be a decent place to study. Quiet, less distraction, peaceful. Which is good because that is the main purpose of going there. BUT...
The lack of entertainment could be a problem to some. Unlike in PG or KL,Kampar is a peaceful and quiet place to be.
The campus doesn't have enough parking lot and to make things worse, instead of first come first serve they'll have a lucky draw instead for the parking stickers.
If all goes well in my September exam, most probably I will be there in January.
So here is what I found out.
Distance from home
It is quite far away. Over 140km from the nearest Juru toll to Gopeng exit. It took us about 2 hours to get there.
Without any music one might fall asleep on the wheel.
So you might as well drive fast and try stay awake.
Light after darkness in the tunnel
Surrounding Houses
There are quite a lot of houses there. From single story to 3 storey houses. There is still some distance from the nearest house to the campus.Although the scenery on the way can be rather enjoyable to watch but...
I bet those going to classes won't enjoy their ride much under the extremely warm weather.
The Campus
In terms of size, it is HUGE. The biggest Private University maybe. But that is what I have expected to see. Big campus, lots of students. What I didn't expect though, was this.
Should I call it bicycle town?
Unfortunately I didn't have any wide lens with me or else I could have shown you a better picture of UTAR's very own, CHINA.
The food
Had only one meal there somewhere near that Island Red cafe. I had economy rice, the price,the taste is acceptable.
The entertainment
Nothing much really. So I'll start off with what is lacking in Kampar
- NO CINEMA. Nearest one is in Ipoh.
- NO FUTSAL COURT. A proper one.
- NO CLUB. The nearest place to find one is in Ipoh.
- NO BIG HYPERMARKETS.Like Gurney Plaza,QB, Megamall or Mid Valley. None.
- NO BEACH. No seaside barbecue. No new year's count down on the beach.
But luckily, it is still some places to hang out with friends
Cyber Cafes, mamak shop,Tesco and there is Ipoh if you don't mind travelling.
Entertainment wise Kampar is no match for Penang.
Friends
I do know a few people studying here. So I shouldn't feel too lonely at my 1st few weeks there.And I'm sorry that I didn't call any of them out because it was a quick in-and-out,straight to the point visit.
Course Duration
The duration depends on how I arrange the number of subjects according the the minimum/maximum credit hour.
The number of papers exempted on the other hand, depends on the lecturer and the FUCKculty. Yes. I was told its called the FUCKculty.
Conclusion
UTAR Kampar seems to be a decent place to study. Quiet, less distraction, peaceful. Which is good because that is the main purpose of going there. BUT...
The lack of entertainment could be a problem to some. Unlike in PG or KL,Kampar is a peaceful and quiet place to be.
The campus doesn't have enough parking lot and to make things worse, instead of first come first serve they'll have a lucky draw instead for the parking stickers.
If all goes well in my September exam, most probably I will be there in January.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
3 weeks and still not over
Its been 3 weeks since i initially got heavy fever due to chickenpox.It was on the 14th of April when i felt really sick and then some chickenpox spots started to appear but i just ignored them.*bad mistake* I should have went to the hospital by that time so that they can provide me some medicine that can stop the virus from spreading.
So,readers with no chickenpox immune,please Do pay attention ok? That's one option you have in case one of these things start to appear on your body,go to the hospital for further treatment and stop it from spreading to the entire body.
Or else,you might just end up like me.If you are lucky,you get 1 or 2 weeks mc.If you are not,like me,you might just have to wait longer.
Orientation is about a week away and i reeeeally don't want to give people a 1st impression that i have this chickenpox virus and everybody will look at me as a spreading virus although it is not contagious any more according to the doctor.
I have been playing football,futsal for 3 times in as many days.I'm still on a strict diet but the recovery seems to be slow and i cannot do a thing should i fail to recover in time before the 21st (Orientation day).
P/S: PLEASE !!! if you have any remedy or any idea that can speed up my recover, i say again PLEASE let me know via comments or any way you prefer. Thanks in advance.
Friday, March 16, 2007
I am clumsy S.O.S.
I make clumsy mistakes time and time again.I just cant take it any more.Today i made a mistake at work that could have cost me my money.Thank god,i was fortunate enough to make some profit from the sale.I offered my customer a lithium-ion battery at RM120.He agreed to buy and i put it in the box without charging him a single cent.I dont know how and why such thing could happen.
This mistake is no big deal but there are times where we cannot afford to make one.Like driving for instance,one mistake could cost you a lot of trouble,not just money but even lifes.I bangged my own house gate with my dad's car.
There wont be any scars on the bumper if i was a little bit more careful.I dont want to make a clumsy mistake on the road and end up like this....
or worse
There is once when i gave RM50 note to the cashier for a RM1 bun in Safira's Sport City and walked off straight away like im telling him to 'keep the change'.I thought i gave him a RM1 note for a bun and almost spent the remaining RM49 buying drinks for my friends.I really cannot believe that i could be this clumsy at my age.
How can i get rid of the clumsiness in me?I need some help before something terrible happens. This is worrying me.My dear friends? Any one ? I really need some help here... PLEASE...
Friday, March 9, 2007
Resignation from Kuang Yee Megamall
On the 1st March 2007, I submitted my resignation for the 2nd time to the manager but it is actually the 3rd time i thought of leaving the company.But this time I am resigning for good.
I cancelled my 1st resignation at the end of year 2006 because my Polytechnic plans didnt workout.Since there is no point for me to quit my job at that time i worked on.But just before the new year (2007),i lost my 'mood' to work.There were not many customers like the November or December 2006.Had enough of those 'waiting for customer' moments at work.January was really 'boring to the max'
So i thought it would be a good idea to quit after CNY 2007.Im sure March won't be a lot different than January.Megamall's North Atrium looks very nice before and during CNY.The job was better for 2 weeks as many customers came and bought cameras for the annual chinese festival.But right after CNY,it was one of those (boring) days again as i expected.
I thought of resigning again but my decision was objected by my family and friends because TARC's intake is in May.I admit felt quite lazy to work.I thought about it and i knew it is wrong to resign after right after CNY,about 3 months before my course starts.I continued working...but not for long.
My last day at KY Megamall will be on the 31th of March 2007 as written in my resignation letter.This is the best job i've found so far but i am about quit about 2 months before my diploma course begins..I still feel very lonely everytime i see my friends hang out.When they hang out,im always left out.Why?because of my work.Yes,there are gaylords who is nice enough to drop by the shop occasionally to have lunch and so.I appreciate their company but Im not gay.Just don't want to disappoint a couple of homosexuals.My friends get to enjoy school holidays,sem breaks but i dont have all that.Yes,I didnt even enrol into a college but i do need a holiday.
With less than 20 working days on the calender,it's almost time to say bye bye to a really NICE job.
I know some people won't agree with this decision too but i have i reasons to quit too.
1.Tired of the long working hours.(about 1130 to 2130) can't you see how hard i worked?
2.Holiday.When was the last time i went for a vacation? about 2 years ago?
3.Enough pratical,time for the theory.
4.The b*tch in the shop.I could have made much more money without her.I admit she is better than me in the job but she is too greedy.I once asked a friend:'the bosses knew she tries to take away every possibly chance to sell but why they did nothing so far?she got something others don't have or what?'He replied me with a simple answer: because she got chee buy lah !
5.Prepare for college.Plenty to prepare before college starts,even handling my own laundry is something new to me.
6.Basic salary.RM650 is the basic salary i get every month.After more than 6 months,that is the amount i get as a basic salary while my new colleague gets more than me in less than 2 months for the same work.I really shouldn't have said that im working until college starts. My mistake
Reasons why i shouldn't quit
1.Money. Yes,I can't earn more money by resigning but i do think i can learn more when im free.
Final score:
Resign United 6-1 FC Kerja
I cancelled my 1st resignation at the end of year 2006 because my Polytechnic plans didnt workout.Since there is no point for me to quit my job at that time i worked on.But just before the new year (2007),i lost my 'mood' to work.There were not many customers like the November or December 2006.Had enough of those 'waiting for customer' moments at work.January was really 'boring to the max'
So i thought it would be a good idea to quit after CNY 2007.Im sure March won't be a lot different than January.Megamall's North Atrium looks very nice before and during CNY.The job was better for 2 weeks as many customers came and bought cameras for the annual chinese festival.But right after CNY,it was one of those (boring) days again as i expected.
I thought of resigning again but my decision was objected by my family and friends because TARC's intake is in May.I admit felt quite lazy to work.I thought about it and i knew it is wrong to resign after right after CNY,about 3 months before my course starts.I continued working...but not for long.
My last day at KY Megamall will be on the 31th of March 2007 as written in my resignation letter.This is the best job i've found so far but i am about quit about 2 months before my diploma course begins..I still feel very lonely everytime i see my friends hang out.When they hang out,im always left out.Why?because of my work.Yes,there are gaylords who is nice enough to drop by the shop occasionally to have lunch and so.I appreciate their company but Im not gay.Just don't want to disappoint a couple of homosexuals.My friends get to enjoy school holidays,sem breaks but i dont have all that.Yes,I didnt even enrol into a college but i do need a holiday.
With less than 20 working days on the calender,it's almost time to say bye bye to a really NICE job.
I know some people won't agree with this decision too but i have i reasons to quit too.
1.Tired of the long working hours.(about 1130 to 2130) can't you see how hard i worked?
2.Holiday.When was the last time i went for a vacation? about 2 years ago?
3.Enough pratical,time for the theory.
4.The b*tch in the shop.I could have made much more money without her.I admit she is better than me in the job but she is too greedy.I once asked a friend:'the bosses knew she tries to take away every possibly chance to sell but why they did nothing so far?she got something others don't have or what?'He replied me with a simple answer: because she got chee buy lah !
5.Prepare for college.Plenty to prepare before college starts,even handling my own laundry is something new to me.
6.Basic salary.RM650 is the basic salary i get every month.After more than 6 months,that is the amount i get as a basic salary while my new colleague gets more than me in less than 2 months for the same work.I really shouldn't have said that im working until college starts. My mistake
Reasons why i shouldn't quit
1.Money. Yes,I can't earn more money by resigning but i do think i can learn more when im free.
Final score:
Resign United 6-1 FC Kerja
Friday, March 2, 2007
Welcome to my world !!!
Geetings.A warm welcome to all bloggers/readers.First blog in donovantan.blogspot.com is the first step of a long,long journey.Having posted blogs in Friendster.com and Window live spaces previously,i think it is time to create a REAL blog and i am glad i did it.
This blog is not only going to serve as a journal,or some kind of diary but also a place to express any hidden feelings inside me,to remember the events of the day, and also to know myself better.I created this blog the day i hand-in my resignation letter to my 1st ever 4 figure salary job and probably the most learning job experience.So, i guess i will be posting blogs about my final days of my job as a beginning.
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